The Detest for The Con Artist: The Choices We Make
by Flywheel Shyster and Flywheel
Summary: My name is Eddy McGee. This right here is the story of my daughter's birth, the sisters of my best friends and the death of my childhood. There's something about national security in there too, if you care about that crap.
1. The Detest of Growing Up

**A/N: **This here began as a response to a challenge by author 'Freak with a pen', a 'Seddy' challenge. I hate Sarah deeply and I'm not that fond writing from Eddy's perspective as I find that my vocabulary and writing style suits Double-D better but when I decided to bake the challenge into my already existing story 'It All Comes Down To The Choices We Make', so far loved by all, I just knew I had to do this, contempt or not. So, what you are about to read takes place during 'It All Comes Down' but it features the entire story from the viewpoint of Eddy McGee. And trust me; they do not share the same story.

* * *

**Chapter 1 – The Detest of Growing Up**

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Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that I am up to no good and own everything in this story except for anything associated with the Ed, Edd n Eddy franchise, 'Say Goodbye Hollywood' or the city of San Francisco.

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_Bury my face in comic books, cause I don't want to look  
At nothin', this world's too much  
I've swallowed all I could  
If I could swallow a bottle of Tylenol I would, and end it for good  
Just say goodbye to Hollywood  
I probably should, these problems are piling all at once  
Cause everything that bothers me, I got it bottled up  
I think I'm bottomin' out  
But I'm not about to give up, I gotta get up  
Thank God, I got a little girl  
And I'm a responsible father  
So not a lot of good, I'd be to my daughter layin' in the bottom of the mud  
Must be in my blood cause I don't know how I do it  
All I know is I don't want to follow in the footsteps of my dad  
Cause I hate him so bad  
The worst fear that I had was growin' up to be like his fuckin' ass, man  
If you could understand why I am the way that I am  
What do I say to my fans, when I tell 'em I'm..._

* * *

Who am I to have decided this? What have I done? Where the hell am I going? When, if, is this gonna be over? Why did this have to happen? _How _could this have happened?

Sorry fellers, this isn't your fight or your problem; it's mine. But of course, to get my thoughts' on something else, let me tell you this story, a story that changed all of our lives forever.

Oh yeah, you probably don't even know who I am. The name's Eddy, Eddy McGee-Driftwood. And this little kid in my arms... Is Max McGee-Firefly. My daughter.

Sorry I can't say where we are or where we're heading, I can only say that we're on a train right now. To be honest, I don't even know where we're heading. I've set out on a hunt for Spencer Flywheel to get some answers, the problem is... I haven't got a flying fuck where she is; I don't even know if she's still in the States. Even worse, I have no idea what the questions are. So many clues but none of them makes sense...

Double-D... Double-D's probably hunting after me. Ed's with him, hopefully he'll be able to convince Double-D that I didn't betray him and tell him the same story I'm telling you right now, straightening shit out.

Man, seventeen days ago, my life was somewhat normal but now… I've messed up, real bad. It's all my fault.

Pfft, who am I kidding? The only thing I messed up is my friendship with Double-D and only half of that is my fault! Nothing else is my fault! It ain't my fault Kevin hates us more than ever! It ain't my fault the Cul-de-Sac guys are probably after us! _Again_! It ain't my fault that they're- That they're dead...

I can't blame myself for it. It wasn't my fault.

Fellers, this is a story with a lot of views since there are so many people involved. Now I ain't so involved in Double-D's side of the story, which probably involves a little more information than mine since… It's his sister and all but… I'm still too involved in this shit.

Max just fell asleep again so I guess we better get started. The real story, the one where I got involved in Double-D's sister's affairs, started seventeen days ago but my story starts way back, like seven and a half months ago. Here's the story of brothers, sisters, newfound love, life, death and a pregnancy test.

* * *

Bear in mind, this was like seven and a half months ago. My memory of it is a little fuzzy.

"Can you believe it Sockhead? We're invited to a party!" I jumped up and down in excitement, grasping the invitation in my hand. Well, somewhat fuzzy.

"Please calm down Eddy, don't forget what the nurse said about your blood pressure." Double-D put his hand on my forehead; he had always been worried about me and my health. Okay, not that fuzzy.

"But Double-D, it's a party that everybody has been invited to!" I looked at the invitation that Nazz had handed out to us just a few minutes earlier. Who would've thought I'd remember it this well?

"Yes I know Eddy." Double-D sighed, I wasn't gonna like this. "Unfortunately, I will only be able to be there for a limited amount of time."

"OH NO! DON'T COME AND TELL ME YOU'RE LEAVING HALFWAY THROUGH LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO!" I pressed my index finger against his ribs which made him flinch.

"Eddy, will you please remove your finger, I feel that my aorta is experiencing some unidentified pain." He squirmed and I moved my finger to under his chin instead.

"What is it this time? You have to go to bed extra early because you and your parents have to go grocery shopping tomorrow?" I said with a mock voice.

"Yes, I agree, last time's excuse was in the tamer category..." He moved my finger with his own. "But no, my family and I are leaving first thing tomorrow for a well earned vacation in Paris." He grinned innocently and I was stunned.

"Showoff…" I crossed my arms and continued to walk down the street. I heard Double-D hurry after me along with Ed.

"Well, that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the party! You will have Ed as company!" Double-D pointed to Lumpy who was cleaning his ears with what looked like a toothbrush.

"Hey Lumpy, you wanna go to Nazz's party in royal company?" I grinned at him and he pulled the toothbrush out of his ear.

"Oh boy, oh boy, THE QUEEN IS BACK?" Double-D snickered beside me.

"No... No, ME! You going or what?"

"Yes sir-ee, yes sir-ee, the hi-de-ho-man, that's me!" The lump grinned and put the toothbrush in his pocket.

"See, you can go with Ed! You will have fun!" Double-D put his hand on my shoulder as a friendly gesture.

"As fun as you can have with a brain dead moron…" Double-D rolled his eyes and we continued home. I waved goodbye to Double-D and dragged Lumpy home with me. I made him comment my dressing as I changed from outfit to outfit. After two changes, I realized that I had picked the wrong person for the job.

"Supercalifragilistic!"

"Ups and downs!"

"Viva Las Vegas!"

"Expialidocious!"

"Fly with me, let's fly away!"

"Prodigious!" Even though Lumpy is Lumpy, I somehow managed to get out of the house before the party started so we headed to Ed's place to look out a great outfit for him. To make a long story short, I ended up shoving a bowtie down his throat. And on our way we went!

"Feel good Lumpy?" Ed coughed as a response. "Atta boy." I walked out the door to Ed's room and up the stairs to Ed's hallway. When I opened the front door, I flew forward when a bowtie and a kitchen sink hit me in the back at the sound of a cough.

"What are you doing up this late young miss?" Ed asked, obviously not to me. I pealed my face off of the concrete, groaning in pain.

"Man, we gotta make some changes in Ed's diet..." I turned to the most gruesome, painful, god-forsaken scene I could've imagined that night.

"Mom said I could go to Nazz's party AND I'M GOING!" Ed's little sister Sarah screamed in her brother's face.

"But Sarah, it's for freshmen!" Ed pleaded, not wanting his sister to get into trouble. Heavens' know she did anyway.

"Then why did I get an invite from Nazz personally?" Sarah smirked and something burst inside me.

"WHAT? You got an invite to the party?" I ran up to Sarah to snatch the invitation out of her hands. Examining it, I gasped and stared at Sarah. "You got invited?"

"SO DID JIMMY!" With that, Sarah punched me in the face with such great force, I flew through the hallway wall, into the kitchen and went through the Firefly's fridge. "Out of my way space-waster!" I heard Sarah shove Ed out of the way and I assume that he hit the wall with just an inch of less force than me because he didn't go through. The door slammed shut and Ed groaned from the hallway.

"Eddy! Are you okay?" Ed limped into the kitchen and grinned, he looked in pain just doing that, several teeth missing.

"Get the number of that lawn that mowed me…" I swear, birds were circling my head.

"Eddy! We must get Double-D and going!" Ed picked me up by the collar of my shirt and pulled me out of a pile of pure destruction in the form of glass, metal and a hell of a lot of unknown food. I winced as Ed broke through his front door as I found that I had some glass pieces from a broken pickle jar lodged in my back.

"Double-D! Party is good for you!" Ed shouted as he ran into Double-D's house wall with me under his arm.

"Ed, please be a little more careful when you're excited, I'm worried you might hurt yourself." Double-D walked up to us, obviously he had heard Ed's shout of joy.

"Hey Sock head, when will yah learn that Monobrow here is invincible?" I looked up at Double-D, still a little groggy from my meeting with Ed's fridge.

"Eddy, you don't look to well." Double-D looked at me worried.

"Nah, I'm fine Sock head." I pushed myself up and brushed some eggplant from my shirt.

"Gentlemen, let's get down to business. I may attend the party until eleven p.m. After that, I hope that you can take care of yourselves?" Double-D raised an eyebrow and looked at us.

"Take care? Of course! It's my middle name!" I said and grinned. We started to walk towards Nazz's house.

"Take it easy there Skipper!" Ed reached out and slapped my back friendly.

"Ed, what have I said about slapping Eddy's back when you're excited?" I heard Double-D's voice somewhere behind me as I was thrown into the air of the cheer force of Ed's slap.

"I'm sorry Double-D, I can't help myself!" Ed jumped up and down, excited over the party.

"Then help me instead Peanut-brain!" Monobrow ran after me and found me. I swear, you haven't lived until you've been catapulted into the air and landing in a mailbox.

"I really need a reminder why I'm friends with them again." Double-D murmured as he walked up to Nazz's front door and knocked. Then again. Then again. And once more before Ed came flying past him, taking the door with him.

"I believe I can touch the sky!" Ed laughed as he collided with Nazz's staircase to the second floor, some people jumping out of the way.

"Now that's a unique entrance Eddy. Completely rude but nonetheless unique." Double-D complimented me as I joined him at the door.

"I try my best Double-D, I try my best."

"I thought I heard something!" Nazz came out from the living room, sliding open the living room door that had been shut the entire time. The music wasn't even music anymore, it was just plain noise. _Loud _noise. I looked to my left to scream something to Double-D but I didn't see him.

'My, that is loud.' I turned to see him lying on the ground two feet behind me. Of course, I couldn't hear what in the hell he was saying but not to brag, I'm sort of a lip reader. 'You have to be kidding me; Deus Ex Machina...'

'What?'

'The band playing; they're called Deus Ex Machina!'

'Oh yeah, I've heard of them! They're supposed to be good!'

'Well, at a normal sound level, I find their writing too lazy.'

'Come on; it's not that loud. I mean, it'll probably be better once we get inside.'

'Yeah, come on in!' Nazz stepped forward and pulled Double-D up. He blushed and brushed the dust off his shirt.

'Well then, let us join the festivities.' With that, Double-D entered Nazz's house and looked at the living room door frightened.

"Hey Ed? Can you like, put the front door back? It's getting chilly." Nazz closed the living room door temporarily so she could make herself heard. Ed popped up from the stairs and walked down them, carrying the door under his arm.

"Sure thing ma'am!" Ed pulled me inside and put the door back in its hinges.

"Well boys, this is where the fun begins." I slid the living room door open and I'm not making this up, I felt the shockwaves from the music. You know when it's like hella hot in the summer and the roads get all wavy and funk? It felt like that. Double-D looked nauseas.

We followed Nazz over to a table with several bottles and pitchers. She turned around and motioned to the table.

'What will it be dudes?' Double-D looked hand fallen, we were after all still underage

'Beer!' I articulated like a fool. Nazz gave me thumbs up and opened a cooler next to the table. She threw me a beer which I grabbed with my right hand.

'Double-D?' Nazz looked at him from under those eyelashes that had driven us mad with hornyness ages ago. He just stood there like a fish on land so I nudged his side and he woke up from his trance and shook his head.

'Water!' He looked in the kitchen's direction and Nazz started to move towards the kitchen when I grabbed her.

'NO! YOU ARE AT LEAST DRINKING COKE!' I saw a pitcher labeled 'COKE', grabbed it and a glass and shoved them into Double-D's hands.

'FINE!' He poured himself a glass and downed it. 'Hmm, I was apparently more partial than I thought.'

'Uhm, dude?' Nazz looked rather worried at Double-D who downed another glass.

'If you don't mind, I will hang onto this! Pardon me!' He reached past Nazz to grab a straw before he walked off into the giant crowd that had formed in front of the speakers. Nazz looked shocked.

'That was an entire pitcher!'

'Relax, I can run down to the store and get you some more coke.'

'It's not that, that was coke AND rum!' We stared at each other for a couple of seconds before I shrugged and grinned.

'Nah, what's the worst that can happen?'

'Yeah, you're right.' She shrugged before turning to Ed with a smile. 'You're banned from drinking, Ed.'

'WHAT?'

'BANNED FROM DRINKING LUMPY!'

'WHAT?'

'Oh for fuck's sake.' I grabbed a Fanta bottle and held it up for Nazz to see. 'Regular?' She nodded and I poured a glass and handed to Ed.

'Why thank you!' He grinned goofily and made off into the crowd.

'We both remember the seniors' graduation party last spring!' We both shuddered at the very thought of it; to make a long story short, it started with Ed tackling the mascot and ended in bailing Double-D out of jail. I'll tell you about it some other time.

'Well, I gotta go greet some people!' She grabbed a beer from the cooler and we fistbumped before she went over to the door to greet some guy with his hood up. I dove into the crowd when I realized that the noise was slower now resulting in people moving a lot slower. I must've looked like a lost kid in a sea of slow dancing couple. I realized that I had no idea what I was doing there or what I was looking for; Double-D was off doing who knows what and Ed was off doing who would want to know? I was pulled out of these deep thoughts when somebody tapped my shoulder.

'Can I have this dance?' I turned around to see the mysterious dude with the hood up, covering half his face.

'Who the hell are you?' My adrenaline levels shot through the roof; if this guy wanted a fight, he was gonna get it.

'Now, now Mr. McGee, you know I'm not a big fan of violence.' My muscles flexed when he raised his hands but was surprised when he used them to lower his hood and even more surprised when I saw who it was. 'I was actually hoping we could settle our differences in a drinking contest.'

'Kitchen!' I mouthed to him and pointed to the kitchen. He nodded and led the way through the sea of people.

"I can hear the silence. It's... Fantastic." I closed the kitchen door after me and the silence around us was deafening.

"Holy shit man, is it really you?"

"Last time I checked the mirror Mr. McGee." We grinned and hugged each other like only bros do, ending with a secret handshake we had made up all those years ago.

"So how've you been man? It's been, like, forever!" I jumped up on the kitchen counter while he casually leaned against the kitchen island thingy. Whatever you call it.

"I'm good, I'm good. You?" He took a drink from the beer in his hand.

"It's cool, life flows on." I followed his motion and downed the rest of my beer, grabbing an unopened one just standing on the counter. "Last time you left us, you said you were heading down to Rio again!"

"You ready for an unbelievable story?"

"Always!"

* * *

Max Flywheel used to live here in Peach Creek with his mom, dad and his siblings; they're like... There's a word they used... Quintuplets? Yeah, that's it. Like twins but five of them. Out of the five, Max was the one who hung out with us Eds' the most, leading to him becoming an 'honorary' Ed. The entire family moved away two-three years ago to God knows where but Max still visited on a regular basis; sometimes with his sister Spencer and sometimes with his brother Linus but he usually came alone.

What they did after they moved out of Peach Creek, no one knows. They travelled a lot, mostly here in the States but we sometimes got postcards from places like London, Cairo and Singapore. Rio was like a favorite of Spencer's; she apparently had close friends down there. Where they got the cash for all their travels, that was just another one of life's mystery.

* * *

"Well, I was here... In April last time, right?"

"Think so."

"Yeah, yeah I was, stayed for a week. We pulled that prank on Mrs. Goldberg!" I laughed at the memory though I now have no clue what the prank was.

"Oh yeah, her face when she opened the bag!" We shared a laugh before he continued.

"Anyway, after that, I travelled down to L.A. and met Spence at LAX where we flew down to Rio."

"What'd you do there?"

"Spencer has... Friends, really close friends there. So, we stayed there for a month, doing the touristy stuff, went boating on the Amazon River."

"Sounds cool."

"It was." He took a swig of his beer. "It really was. After that month in Rio, we headed back up to the family in New York and spent the rest of May and the first month of summer there before heading out to see some states."

"All of them?"

"Well, that was the plan when we set out. But apparently, a cousin of ours thought it'd be funny to pull a prank on us so he put a little something in the glove compartment of our rental. So surprise, surprise when we're pulled over by the cops in the middle of Michigan and Spence opens the compartment for the papers on the car and a Ziploc bag with white powder falls out."

"Coke?" I half screamed, half laughed.

"You want, dude?" Some random guy with a chick on his arm walked by and reacted to the word.

"Nah, I'm good." I said, Max shook his head.

"Here's my card in case you change your minds, dudes." He handed Max a business card and stumbled into the living room with the chick clinging onto him, temporarily making us deaf in the process.

"Was it just me or did that chick look coked out of her mind?"

"With just a hint of... Ecstasy?" We gave each other a look and broke out into laughter. "As I was saying, this bag falls out and that cop throws us in his car and has his partner follow us in the rental."

"Hang on, ain't possession something like-"

"It differs but this trooper went on about two to eight years. That is until we were released three hours later by the same guy who was fuming."

"Why?"

"A guy in Evidence had apparently snorted some of the powder and had apparently started vomiting. Turns out it wasn't coke at all; it was chalk." I choked on my beer.

"Chalk?" He nodded and I cracked up.

"So, after that holdup, and a pissed off phone call to our cousin, we changed directions and drove down to visit Simon in Florida."

"Cool, how is he?" Simon is one of the quintuplets. He spent half of his time here alone or with Double-D, doing science stuff, and the other half with us Eds' and Max.

"He's... Simon. That's about it." We shrugged; it's not that Simon was uninteresting, it's just that no one ever understood Simon's behavior fully, not even Max. I would later find out that on that very night, Simon was actually having tea with a very charming older couple near the Montana border. Life is full of coincidences, huh? Anyway, we downed the rest of our beers and grabbed another one; I could feel that those two were starting to make progress in the back of my head.

"So, what happened after-"I stopped midsentence; he heard it too. Nothing. The music had stopped. We swung open the door, fearing cops was cuffing teens this early into the night but imagine our surprise when we only saw a drunk off his ass Double-D standing by the stereo, getting yelled at by half the room. Max kept it together for a second before breaking into a fit of insane laughter.

"NOW HOLD ON!" Double-D screamed, silencing the whole room instantly. "HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE HAD A BAD WEEK?" The room murmured in response, a few raising their hands insecurely.

"This oughta be good." Max wheezed between breaths.

"Now there's an old expression where I come from that apply to tonight! Live by it, party by it, scream it from the hills!"

"What is it?" A random jock in the back asked.

"Good question! Now listen carefully! You listening carefully? Good! Here it comes! 'Alle menschen muss zu machen, jeden tug a gentzen kachen pechen pepekachen'! Live by it, party by it, make love by it folks!" He looked very pleased by himself; the crowd looked hella confused though.

"What the hell does that mean?" I heard Kevin somewhere in the crowd.

"When you're down and out and everybody thinks you're finished, that's the time to stand up on your two feet and shout; WHO DO YOU HAVE TO FUCK TO GET A BREAK IN THIS TOWN?"

"YEAAAAA-"The rest of the shout was cut off when Double-D pressed play again just before getting hauled up in the air and crowdsurfed right across the room. The soundwaves literally pushed me and Max up against the wall. Not that he seemed to mind.

'OH-MY-GOD-DID-YOU-SEEAAAAAAHAAHAHAAAAAA' That's what I gathered from the short period of time Max wasn't standing hunched over in laughter.

'Dude!' I elbowed him in the ribs. 'Double-D's pretty drunk; maybe we should get him out of here!'

'No! He's having fun! More importantly, I'm having a blast watching him! Just look at-'He pointed his empty beer bottle to a sight that made our jaws drop. On the middle of the dance floor, Double-D was engaged in something that surpassed a make out session ages back. His hands were snaking their ways over every surface of Nazz's delicate body; hers doing very much the same, all while they tried to choke the other using their tongues. 'Aight, I'll get him out, this could get ugly fast.' He motioned the bottle to our left just before heading over to the happy couple; Kevin was standing there, furious to see 'a dork like Double-Dweeb' run around the bases with his ex. He grabbed the very first chick he could find and kissed her hard; it was the coke chick Max and I saw in the kitchen earlier. Ignoring what was not going to be something pretty, I saw Ed walking by, having the time of his life.

'ED MY BOY!' I hauled him in by the jacket, the grin on his face growing when he saw it was me.

'EDDY! GREAT PARTY THIS IS!' I smiled and nodded. Ed opened his mouth to say more but he was interrupted by a knock on his shoulder.

'I do believe this is yours Mr. Firefly!' Double-D was clinging to Max's neck while trying to kiss him. I was trying not to laugh my ass off and Max was trying not to drop Double-D when Ed came rushing forth and pulled him into a bone crushing hug. Max and I failed in our attempts.

"MAX!" Ed screamed in such joy, I heard it. Faintly, but I heard it and that's saying something.

'Hey, you've been working out!' Max spluttered before falling straight to the ground, Double-D landing on top of him.

"ED!" I grabbed Ed's ear and practically shoved my mouth into it. "YOU HAVE TO TAKE DOUBLE-D HOME!"

'Aaaaw! But this party is so much fun!'

"IF DOUBLE-D'S PARENTS FIND OUT HE'S BEEN DRINKING, THEY'RE PROBABLY GONNA TELL ALL OF OUR PARENTS! THEN WE'RE ALL IN DEEP SHIT!" He gasped.

"NOT DEEP SHIT EDDY, DEEP SHIT'S NOT GOOD FOR ED!" No shit Sherlock.

"SINCE YOU'RE THE ONLY SOBER ONE OUT OF THE FOUR Of US-"I pointed to myself, swaying a little on my feet, Ed himself, who was of course the only one sober from alcohol, Max, who was writhing all over the floor, and Double-D, who was trying to writhe into Max's pants. "-YOU HAVE TO TAKE HIM HOME!" I paused for a moment and hatched the greatest plan since sliced bread. "IT'S A SUPER SECRET MISSION CALLED... UHM..." I looked around the room in panic. "OPERATION LAMPSHADE!"

'Operation Lampshade?' Max's head shot up with an arched eyebrow.

"IT'S YOUR JOB, AGENT GRAVY, TO TAKE THE PROFESSOR-"I pointed to Double-D. "-BACK TO HIS LAB WITHOUT HIS SUPERIORS FINDING OUT!" You could see the cogs in his brain turning; this would take a few moments. I glanced at the lovers on the floor.

'... Your hair smells nice Max.'

'... Thank... You...'

'What is that; strawberry?'

'Yes indeed, complementary of a Las Vegas hotel.' Las Vegas?

'_Las Vegas?_' I mouthed.

'Later, later mon!' He mouthed in panic; Double-D had buried his face in Max's hair and inhaled/exhaled with the force of ten non-smokers.

"OKEY-DOKEY EDDY, I'LL COMPLETE THE MISSION!" This time, Ed was the one who shoved his mouth into my ear. Even I had been prepared, I still wouldn't have been ready to the pain Ed's voice caused me. He dropped me to the ground and flung Double-D over his shoulder. 'Let's have lunch Max!' Ed or Double-D said, I don't remember. All I know is that at one moment, I could see the lump with the giggling Double-D on his back, the next I couldn't.

'I've been violated.' Max crawled over to me and moved into a fetal position.

'I- My ears are ringing!' I swear, it was like Big Ben up in there.

"KEEP THEIR HEADS RINGIN'!" Ironically, somebody decided to throw that song on at that very moment.

'So, Vegas?'

'Yeah, you know, family vacation, friends in the right circles, getting kicked out of five hotels and just barely escaping the Nevada Gaming Commission each time-'

'You're messing with me, aren't you?'

'No, no! We were down there for two weeks after Spence decided she wanted to "chase the American dream", apparently recreating the love child of "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" and "21".'

'Ain't that the one where they count cards?'

'Linus!'

'Hang on, _Linus can count cards? _Why haven't you told me? We're gonna get-'He held up a hand.

'There was a reason we gave up after the fifth casino; we saw a guy in the gutter they had dragged into one of the back rooms, poor bastard was between life and death. So we packed up and got the hell out of there and here I am!' He grinned, there was the old confident bastard I had grown to know and love.

'Let's drink for tonight!'

'Drink for tonight!' We had probably been on the floor for a good five minutes or so, people had been stepping over us the entire time probably thinking we were passed out from drinking. But how wrong they were. We hadn't even begun.

* * *

You see, back in those days, Max and I were wild. I don't just mean stay out drinking and smoking weed 'til the wee hours of the morning, God knows we did that too, but I mean really _fucked up _shit. We went to parties' downtown and ended up in Mexico. We went to parties' uptown and ended up in Canada. One time, we were having a movie night at Ed's place, Max and I go to the store to get some snacks. The next thing I remember is waking up because my phone's ringing, I answer and it's Double-D wondering where the hell we are. I open my eyes and we're on the island Tom Hanks made Cast Away on. No boats, no alcohol, no drugs, no nothing. No sign of us getting there or partying there. Just me, Max and a football he's spooning. Another one of life's great mysteries concerning me and Max Flywheel.

* * *

After our toast to drinking, I didn't remember shit. It's just pitch black. But what I did remember is waking up with a splittin' headache the next morning, one that could cut down an entire forest.

"Let's see where we are now…" My throat was feeling sore and my voice was hoarse as hell. I opened an eye but closed it immediately after experiencing God's wrath that falls upon the hungover. '_God damn, how much did we drink?_' I felt the minutes ticking by and after fifteen minutes, I managed to open one eye with a pain level of 5 out of 10. I realized that I was lying in bed and judging by the breathing on my arm, I wasn't alone.

"No officer, I'm not high on crystal meth..." With a vision as blurry as a windshield in rain, I turned my head, as slowly as I could without frying all my brain cells at once, to see a blond head of hair snuggled up on my stretched out arm. I grinned, Max was gonna love to hear about this.

'_Well hello there…' _I snuggled closer and kissed the person's head, my hands stroking their way down past the shoulders. '_Mmm, strawberry…'_

"I'm not that easy you know, you're gonna have to buy me breakfast first before you can have your way with me." I froze; there was only one person in the world that voice could belong to.

"Max? What the hell are we doing in bed together? WHY THE HELL-" I shot back from him, the sheet slipping off my body to reveal it to the world. "I'M NAKED!" I pulled the sheet back over me, panicked.

"Would you kindly shut up? It's way too early and way too much alcohol making its way out of my system for panic…" He held his head while he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, leaving the sheet behind.

"Why- Why do I wake up naked in a bed?‽ With you just as naked? And why... The hell does my ass hurt?" You're just gonna love this one! Okay, so, two guys wake up naked in a bed and one guy's ass is hurting-

"You fell down the stairs last night." Max groaned as he stretched his arms. "Now I know how Zeus felt when he gave birth to Athena..."

"But why are we-"I looked around the room to find something that could help me figure this out when my eyes landed on the nightstand to see something that scared me shitless."Is- Is that a used-"

"I won't lie to you. You did lose your virginity last night." I stared at him, his face of course, in great shock

"So... So- So, you and I-?"

"Of course not, get your head in the game McGee! As far as I remember, you fell down the stairs somehow, then you disappeared for a while which made me look you up after... What the hell did I do? Not important at the moment! As I said, I was trying to look you up, opening door after door; you wouldn't believe how many people got off on having sex in this house last night. But when I opened the door to Nazz's room, the one we're in now, it was real dark and then I heard somebody gather their clothes and then she ran past me. Without caring more, I passed out next, on or near the bed, I don't know. Now, if I had clothes on before I came up here, I have no idea." He shrugged and turned to face me.

"Well- Damn it!" I made the mistake of looking at his… If yah don't know what I'm referring to, you really shouldn't continue with this story. "Well that's a load off my mind. Now who the hell could I have slept with…?"

"I have absolutely no clue, you really don't remember something?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Not a shit." I buried my face in my hands; all this thinking was worsening my headache.

"Dude." I looked up and he threw me a box. "The Day After-kit." I opened it and saw a pack of cigarettes, some aspirin and a box of condoms.

"This is sweet!" I grinned at him and he gave me thumbs up.

"Saves lives you now." He winked. "I'll tell you though, it sounded like you had a pretty good run last night."

"What?"

"Oh, she was loud. And it sounded like she was having the time of her life." I grinned proudly.

"Really?"

"I'm not kidding, when I went upstairs to look for you, there were guys outside this room having a betting pool on orgasms, duration, there was even one about the decibel level!"

"You gotta be shitting me."

"Not about this my friend! Whatever you did last night, it was sex, lovemaking, fucking, the whole ten yards!"

"Ain't it just usually nine?"

"Not if you had heard yourself last night!" He noticed a hat on the dresser, checked the size and put it on. "What you think?"

"Like a million bucks."

"That's what I was going for." He grinned but then his face fell when he looked at the nightstand. "Shit, I gotta get going; Spence, Linus and I have a train to catch in the city in 20 minutes." Max winked and threw the door open.

"Where you headin'?"

"Dunno, Spence really wanna head down to Rio again but Linus and I think we should chill in New York for a while, the road is really taking its toll out on me." He sighed. "But, I'll try to swing by after New Years! All my love to Firefly and Double-D!" He started to close the door.

"Later Flywheel!"

"See yah Eddy!" And with that, he was gone. I looked down at the box in my hands and laughed to myself, one of those crazy things Max had invented. Grabbing three aspirin, I threw them into my mouth then I looked around for something to drink. I grabbed the first best thing, a bottle of vodka next to the bed, took a big swig and swallowed. All of the sudden, Double-D's voice rang in my head.

"_Never mix alcohol with narcotics…"_ I panicked for a second but then I calmed. Aspirin... Doesn't count as narcotics, does it? Nah, it's only Valium and shit like that. I was still feeling like shit but better than when I woke up. I decided I didn't wanna stay here longer than necessary so I got up and found my underwear in the big mess. I put them on and was startled when I heard a scream just outside the window. Then I heard how the front door opened, steps in the stairs and then the door flung open revealing a mentally confused figure with his hair on end.

"I seem to have forgotten something." Max winked at me, grabbed his clothes and rushed down the stairs again, throwing on his T-shirt.

'_I'm sure gonna miss that guy."_

* * *

After that, time went on. That party that Nazz had thrown was nothing but an aftermathic disaster. First of all, half of her living room had been torn away from the house and nobody had any idea how or why it happened. She wasn't just grounded, she was sent to live with family in Arkansas for six months, she returned just last. Kevin ended up banging that coked up chick as revenge on Nazz for locking lips with Double-D. She got the last laugh however, the coke chick was basically a walking STD. Guess who laughed his ass off when he found out old Shovelchin caught HIV and then ran for his life for a good two miles? Rolf, who didn't attend the party, had a lovely surprise when he woke up the morning after it to find that he had half a living room sticking out of his roof. Again, nobody knows how or why.

Who am I forgetting...? Oh yeah, Woodhead! Jonny went to the party but mysteriously vanished in the middle of the night according to a text I got from Max. Double-D got a postcard from Melonhead; apparently he was stuck in Singapore and had been ever since the party. Don't ask, don't want to know.

If we move onto us Eds', I got lucky after the party. I went through a few relationships, most of them just involved sex, but that suited me just fine. Felt like I was too young for settling down with just one woman anyway. Double-D got grounded for three months after his parents overheard him mumbling to himself to never drink again on the plane. I laughed my ass off when he told me that flying hung-over to France was worse than three months behind bars. He must've been a real lightweight; says he doesn't even remember meeting me and Ed before the party. And Ed... Well, Lumpy's Lumpy, why change the classics?

Now, there are three people missing here and I'm not talking about the Kankers'. Nobody saw or heard anything about Jimmy since the night of the party, even Sarah didn't know anything. I tried to ask Max about it but he went off the radar as well, emails, texts, phone calls, nothing. None of the Flywheels' were responding to any of us; of course it wasn't strange, they were the Flywheels but when Max said he'd come by at a time, he came by.

The biggest change was Sarah though. She was nastier than ever, louder than ever and being more of a pain in the ass than ever. We would've guessed she just got her period if it wasn't for the fact that it wasn't once a month and it wasn't towards everybody; it was just towards me. She'd scream in my face for walking behind her, punch me for hanging out with Ed at wrong times and throw me through the wall whenever I went to get a glass of water from their kitchen. Then it happened.

Around three months ago, Sarah went away to God knows where and life as we knew it changed. Ed was freer, the Cul-de-Sac was quieter and everything was just in harmony. It was too good to be true. I probably should've seen it coming then when seventeen days ago, all of hell broke loose and I got the whereabouts of Jimmy, Sarah and the Flywheels explained to me.

* * *

_**Day one: April 17, 4:12 p.m.**_

* * *

"Eddy, I believe it would be quite impossible to sell our services as wedding planners." We were walking down the sidewalk outside of school and after a hell of a long day; I was throwing out ideas for scams. Double-D shot down all of them. "All of the Cul-de-Sac kids' parents' are happily married and I seriously doubt that anybody in San Francisco would hire three adolescents' to plan their wedding."

"But what about-"

"Hello boys." I was interrupted by two demonic voices from hell that came from behind us. We turned to stare our lifelong enemies in the eyes; the Kanker sisters.

"Don't you want to walk us home boys?" Lee, who had a crush on me (come on, who can blame her?) since God knows when, lead the gang and was now trying to stare me down. Or at least I thought so; all that hair was just a ridiculous look.

"Yeah, we can share some milk!" May, the stupidest of them, stared dreamingly at Ed.

"Hiya Double-D." Marie, the middle sister who was crushing on Double-D, just waved at her crush. I didn't notice it then but Marie had been acting really strange up to that point.

"Heck no!" I yelled and started to back away from them, sweating. I don't know if you know it but they were really strong, creepy as hell and they very often tried to do stuff I'm never telling my daughter about.

"Every Ed for themselves!" Ed came up with the brilliant idea to run for our damn lives instead of just standing there. I wasn't late to follow him and unfortunately, Double-D was so he was trampled down when May and Lee weren't.

"Come back here Love boat!"

"Get in my arms' Lamb chop!" Ed and I shivered at the very thought of the two of them touching us so we automatically ran faster. All of the sudden, the road split so we glanced at each other, nodded and I took off to the left as Ed ran to the right. After about four feet, I was tripped and pulled into a bush by someone.

"Eddy McGee. That wasn't yesterday." That voice stopped my struggling. They were so very alike, down to the voice.

"What took you Spencer?" Spencer Flywheel had the same blond hair, same naturally confident smile and the same blue eyes sparkling with energy as her brother Max. It was almost frightening how alike they were.

"Took a left turn at Albuquerque. Now hush for a moment." We heard the Kankers' running by, continuing down the street.

"You think it's safe?" I whispered when we couldn't hear them anymore.

"I think so, but just for safety measures." She took off her jacket and baseball cap and handed to me. She stepped out of the bush and I followed, throwing on both jacket and cap.

"So anyway, thanks for saving my ass."

"Always gonna have your ass Skipper." She grinned and slapped me on my ass. Spencer was like the best chick friend a guy could have; she was like a sister you could sleep with and it wouldn't screw things up. Not that we ever did, it was all just teasing. Max would've torn my head off if I had.

"What about Lumpy?" I saw that Ed had run down the street leading to the Cul-de-Sac.

"Don't worry, Max's got his ass." We started to walk down the street, looking over my shoulder every other minute for safety reasons.

"So where've you been? I guess you heard about the party."

"Skippy. I don't think anybody _hasn't _heard about that party. That party is the very reason we're here."

"You wanna throw another party?"

"Are you kidding me? That party was the worst idea since re-electing Bush!" I was really confused by now.

"So, if you aren't here to party, what about the party?"

"Well overall, we're obviously here to visit you guys of course. And about the party..." She sighed. "Have you read the newspaper lately Skipper?"

"Not really, that's something Double-D does."

"Yeah, and I woul've gone straight to him if you and Ed weren't such chick magnets."

"Thanks again for that by the way."

"Anytime." She sighed again. "As I said, to visit you but one of the main reasons we're back here in Peach Creek is because according to some newspapers', a young boy was raped at the party Nazz threw." Hold up, what?

"_Raped?_"

"Raped indeed. The act involved a couple of jocks from the local high school, which we're of course is gonna assume is Peach Creek High, and took place during several hours during which the young local drifted in and out of unconsciousness and in the end, he vomited blood several time until he was rushed to a hospital acute when the owner of the house found him." She looked so focused, like she was reciting an article. "That was the only reason Mr. von Bartonshmeer sent Nazz away; it was the only thing about the party he couldn't overlook as teens being teens." She looked suspiciously at a woman who stepped out of a black Mercedes.

"How did you know Nazz's dad sent-"

"Skippy, have you seen that woman around here before?" She nodded in the direction of the Mercedes.

"Ehm, I don't think so…" I scratched the back of my head so the baseball cap slid down. "But who was the boy?"

"Who?" She seemed to snap out of some deep thoughts. "Oh... Yeah, the paper never stated his name, it was always one of those small things that nobody ever really reads. And even though we read every paper, called every contact we have, we knew his name already. We just didn't wanna face the fact that he was a friend."

"Who?"

"Jimmy."

"_Jimmy?_" My blood froze. _Jimmy had been raped?_

"Yeah, and when you told Max that Jimmy and Sarah had disappeared from Peach Creek, our worries were confirmed. So, we returned here and tracked down Sarah. You'd find Sarah, you'd find Jimmy right? Wrong. You see… We really didn't know how to tell you this so we just decided to show you instead because-" She looked over her shoulder and stopped. "Why is that woman speaking to Double-D and Marie?"

"I really have no idea…" I looked too and it was the woman who had stepped out of the Mercedes. There was something familiar about her that I just couldn't place...

"Hey sis, Ed should be out for a good seven hours or so." I spun around to see Max Flywheel and a hooded figure standing there.

"Hey Max! Long time no see!" I stepped forward and we fist bumped but he didn't smile upon seeing me.

"You haven't told him yet?" Max looked over my head and gave his sister a look of disappointment.

"Oh no, don't you dare give me that look Maximillian! There is nothing we can say about this because it's none of our business and you know it!" She glared back at Max.

"This was **your **idea for heaven's sake!"

"Excuse me, but what the hell are you two talking about?" I looked from Max to Spencer who both seemed reluctant to say something.

"Eddy, she'll have to tell you herself…" With that, Max stepped to the side and let the hooded figure take a step forward. As the figure removed the hood, I was shocked to hear a voice I hadn't heard for a hell of a long time.

"Finally, do you have any idea how hot it is with this stupid thing on?" A blonde Sarah Firefly glared at Max who laughed nervously.

"Well, it was nece-"Max winced, Sarah had kicked his leg. "Can't believe he didn't fall for you; you're quite the charmer…" She growled at him and punched him in the face.

"That's for necessary Flywheel!"

"What- The- Hell does Sarah have to do with this? What do I have to do with this?" I faced Spencer who was trying hard not to laugh at her brother's pain.

"Well…" She walked around me and looked at Sarah. "Can I remov-"

"YES! It's hotter than hell in this!" Spencer smiled apologetically and unzipped Sarah's hoodie. My eyes grew big at the sight.

"Oh my god! How much weight have you put on?" Sarah growled and made an attempt to jump me but Spencer held her back.

"Let me." Spencer leaned forward and smacked me over the head.

"OW! Why the hell did you do that?"

"You NEVER comment on a woman's weight!"

"I have the schcarsch to proove that'sch true..." Max mumbled, just enough for me to hear. Sarah's punch had turned his nose into a leaking faucet.

"But it's true! Just look at her, she's like a whale!" Spencer leaned over and smacked me again. "OW! Stop doing that

"Truth hurts, doesn't it?" Max sighed at the both of us before blurting out the sentance that started a journey that would change my life forever.

"She'sch pregdnadnt McGee, you really schould've paid more attedntiond in Schex Ed!"

"You're… You're pregnant?" Shocked, I looked from a bleeding Max to an uncomfortable Spencer to a glaring Sarah.

"Finally you realize! God, you're slower than Ed!" Sarah started tapping her foot in annoyance.

"Well then, who's the lucky guy?" Max and Spencer exchanged a look while Sarah scoffed.

"Well…" Spencer started.

"You schee..."

"Do I know him?" Spencer focused her eyes at her hand, fidgeting with her fingers.

"Sort of…"

"Someone at school?"

"Guess you could say so…"

"Well, how far along is she?" I looked at Sarah's stomach which was really big.

"About 28 weeks…" Spencer was now looking in every direction possible except for mine.

"And that's…" I started counting in my head and Max groaned.

"It'sch scheven montsch, I schay you schould schtop schleeping in math asch well!" Sarah extended her arm and punched Max in the stomach. His legs gave in and he fell to the ground with a pained groan, blood shooting everywhere.

"That's about the time of the party…" I tried thinking straight but I couldn't. There was a voice in the back of my head that tried to tell me something but I couldn't figure out what…

"Well, duh!" Sarah crossed her arms and rolled her eyes.

"Eddy... Sarah... Well, she lost her virginity to a guy who lost his the same night." With those words, I looked from Spencer to Max to Sarah to Sarah's stomach. It all fit. It all made sense. But... No, it- It just couldn't be.

"I forgot to tell you Eddy, I realished who you schlept with at the party!"


	2. Of Panicked Guys and Fireflies

**Chapter 2 – Of Panicked Guys and Fireflies'.**

* * *

_**Day one: April 17, 7:17 p.m.**_

* * *

"For the last time, it is yours!" She groaned in annoyance at my repetitive question.

"You sure?" I was pacing back and forth in panic, the rug flying around with my every turn.

"Dude. Of coursche itsch yoursch! Who elsche could it be?" My dear friend Max Flywheel held a pack of frozen carrots against his nose where Sarah had socked him not ten minutes ago. Apparently, the water he brought her wasn't cold enough.

"Are you-"

"YES!" I groaned at Spencer's unfortunate, sincere answer. How many times they repeated it, I just couldn't... Process, yeah, that's the word! I couldn't process the information at the time. I mean, she's pregnant! PREGNANT! I was going to be a father! A FATHER! Worse than that, I had had sex with Sarah! SARAH DAMN IT! MY FIRST TIME! SARAH! FIRST TIME! This is just half a second of my panicked thoughts at the time.

"Scho... Schwhat do we do?" The blood hadn't stopped flowing from Max's nose since Sarah had hit him two more times since we had turned back to my house. "I mean-"He quickly raised a tissue to his mouth, spitting out some blood that had flowed into his mouth. "We've told him, we've shown him and we're back here. What's the plan sis'?"

"I don't know... I'd like for you to talk to Double-D." I looked up but saw that she was speaking to Max.

"About the darknessch of Merchedesch?" Blood and saliva was flying every which way when he spoke.

"That's exactly it."

"I'll get on it tomorrow; we need to talk to Ed about this schituation firscht." My neck snapped straight up, looking in fear at both of them.

"ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU WANT ME TO TELL ED THAT I KNOCKED UP HIS LITTLE SISTER?" Max cringed at my scream of panic, holding his ear.

"Let'sch be honescht dude, you gotta take your reschponsibility here. I mean, if you can't tell Ed, how are you gonna tell your parentssssschhhh?" He cussed and spat in the rag again, nose still bleeding like mad..

"What about Ed's parents?" Spencer looked curiously at her brother and we probably thought of the same thing at that exact moment 'cause the moment the blood rushed away from my head in fear, he turned even paler.

"Yeah, we are schooooo shcrewed."

"Come on, they can't be so bad." Indeed they were.

"Are you kidding me? We're talking about the mother who looksch at Scharah, keep in mind: Scharah (!)" He removed the bag of carrots to show us his bloodied nose. "-Asch her little princessch who never do anything wrong. The schame mother who threw her _son_ down into the basement so her _daughter_ could have his room at the time. The _father_ who believes whatever the _mother_ tells him because he doesn't care enough about the children to even try to make an effort. _Really_ think about the entire situation sis'." Soon, her face was as pale as Max's.

"Yeah, we're screwed alright."

* * *

_**Day two: April 18, 1:17 p.m**_

* * *

"So... How was your day?" Max and Spencer were standing outside the school when the day was over.

"I found out yesterday that I'm a father! HOW DO YOU THINK IT WAS?" I slammed my hands over my mouth; if this was to come out and make its way to Ed before we did... Oh boy...

"Take it easy there, we're here to help." Max smiled reassuringly behind a pair of sunglasses.

"What's with the trench coat dude?" Spencer's head snapped to the right to stare at Max who raised his arm to check his watch.

"Damn! I'm late! Look, I gotta go!" He started skipping backwards and then turned fully, running away from us and after somebody far down the street. A familiar person... "Yo! Double-D!"

"What is going on here? What's with the outfits, the secrets, the code words? TELL ME!" This time it was Spencer who threw a hand over my mouth to silence me.

"Patience Skipper, you'll find out sooner or later." Her eyes landed upon a blonde woman talking to Mr. Johnson. "Excuse me for a moment Skipper." I looked curiously at her while she walked over to my homeroom teacher and the blonde. She didn't speak to him right away though, she actually walked right past him to like study some plants. The whole situation confused me to no end.

"Excuse me Mr. Johnson?" The blonde woman walked away from Johnson and stepped into a black Mercedes.

'_Wait a minute... That's the same woman who talked to Double-D yesterday! Why would she be talking to Johnson?_'

"Come on Skippy." I was pulled out of my thoughts when Spencer grabbed my arm and started to walk me towards the Cul-de-Sac.

"No! I'm not taking another step until you tell me what is up!" I snatched my arm back and gave her my best irritation-glare. She only sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Skipper...I can't tell you everything- Actually, I can barely tell you nothing but- Hold on, that's not right..."

"JUST TELL ME!" My patience, and sanity, was wearing thin; this was all a great big bowl of confusion.

"Aight, as I said, I can't tell you everything but I can at least finish the story from yesterday, you do have the right to know where your baby's mother has been." Great, thanks for the reminder. Sex with Sarah. Baby with Sarah. Ed as an uncle. I was so shoulder-deep in shit.

"... Yes." I braced myself for whatever was coming. Were the Flywheels' undercover agents? Cops? Part of some thousand year old organization? Twilight fans? I shuddered at the very thought.

"Where I last left you in the story, we found Sarah with her aunt and uncle up at the Montana border so we-"Again, she was pregnant. Sarah. Sarah _fucking _Firefly. The whiniest bitch on the block and the biggest pain in my ass in the entire Peach Creek area, apart from Shovel-chin. That bastard, I just wanna take his eyeballs and replace them with- Hold on, getting ahead of ourselves.

But I did just that. I _fucked _her. Not one of those 'Oh, we're so in love, let's make love under the stars tonight Leonardo!' no, but I was assfaced out of my fucking mind! Barely remembering a thing! Was it even my condom on the nightstand that night? Had we used one? So many things I seemed to have forgotten. Did I walk up there? I remember rather vaguely how I followed a head of hair into the bedroom, I just can't remember if she was redheaded...

_Christ._ Why would Nazz even wanna throw that party? It ruined everything! Except for the fact that Mount Chinerest got a case of a bad kitty cat. Max is awake again, can't swear.

* * *

Right, I'm on a train. With my daughter. How many teens under 18 can say that? Usually, Double-D would swoop in with some statistics of how common that really is. Though he's not here. I don't think he'll be here for a long time. But Max, someday you'll get to meet your godfather. She looks at me like I'm trying to explain... Well, she looks like I used to do when Double-D would explain math to me. I don't blame her though; I think she gets more than I credit her for. She's wrapped up in one of Double-D's beanies, all snuggled up. For an outsider, cute. For someone who knows the tragic story of this kid, it's kinda gut wrenchingly horrible. There; asleep again. So carefree.

* * *

Good god, I knocked her up. I knocked Sarah up. Holy shit. A father. Me? Was she even keeping the damn thing? Why didn't I get to know those sorts of things?

"-Are you alright Eddy?" Spencer turned and glanced at me; in the middle of the junkyard I had stopped dead in my tracks and she was now waving her hands in front of my face to get my attention. It worked. My mind snapped like a damn twig and verbalized my thoughts.

"OF COURSE NOT! I FUCKING FUCKED SARAH AND NOW SHE'S FUCKING KNOCKED UP! HOW THE FUCK AM I GOING TO TELL ED?" Red in my face, breathing like a rabid dog, I heard the one voice I didn't want to ever hear in this situation. I prayed to the gods it really wasn't him.

"Eddy?" It was him. _Shit._


	3. A Red Stripe Through Life

**Chapter 3 – A Red Stripe Through Life**

* * *

Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that I am up to no good and own everything in this story except for anything associated with the Ed, Edd n Eddy franchise.

* * *

You have to understand something here. I'm the father of a newborn child. I mean, in seventeen years, I haven't really done a lot to put me on the map... But that my life could take such a U-turn in just _seventeen days_ is... To be able to say that my daughter is my greatest accomplishment at seventeen is something I just can't fathom.

* * *

_**Day 2: April 18, 1:54 p.m**_

* * *

"Eddy?" For a brief moment, I wondered if I could run. There was no way in hell that I was ready to have this conversation. Not even with preparation would I be able to say anything... _Anything!_

"Hey there Ed..." Spencer was apparently not ready for this either 'cause she started to slowly slide sideways, away from me. "How's it going?"

"Sarah's pregnant? You had sex with Sarah?" Never in a hundred years would I have guessed that Ed knew that sex led to pregnancy. In that moment, I realized how much I had underestimated the lug in all these years.

"Ed, here's the thing... Bye!" Spencer is kind but she knew that nothing could stop Ed from tearing me apart, limb by limb. Hell, I think the sensible part of my brain went with running away with her.

"Uhm, hey Ed..." Ed was slowly walking towards me while I was frozen to the spot, so nervous and panicked I looked like I had Parkinson's.

"My little sister's having a child... With you?" Never had he made so much sense, it was like he had snapped out of a seventeen year old trance and was finally thinking clearly. I however, was nowhere near the thinking clearly stage because I nodded at the damn question. His face was dead serious and his voice was stone cold when he said the only two words that could've made me faint right there. "Eddy. _Run._"

* * *

"Pipsquek, who told you you could go into my room?"

"Nobody bro but I just thought-"

"Who told you you could touch my stuff?"

"Nobody bro! But I-"

"Who told you that the car wasn't off limits and that I don't keep private stuff in there that you can go through?"

"No one did, I just really wanted to check it out because you're so cool and-"

"Eddy. Run."

"What you mean?"

"You got three seconds to run before I come after you so I can kick your ass for this." I was six, I had entered my bro's room without permission and he flipped after I had found some _magazines_. Cutting to the chase, he outran me and kicked my ass. After all that happened, worst role model ever.

* * *

I ran. I didn't need to be told twice, I took off like a damn rocket. Apparently he was confident that he would catch up with me because I didn't hear the sound of gravel being crushed for a couple of seconds. A head start, Ed was always considerate.

I raced out of the junkyard after zooming my way around the ginormous piles of trash and waste, a quick glance over my shoulder deemed that it wasn't effective enough since Ed just plowed straight through them. After sensing his presence a couple of inches behind me, I took a sharp left and headed into the forest, intent on losing him in there.

"I had been drinking Ed! So had she!" Boy was I brain dead.

"I ASKED YOU TO LOOK AFTER HER!" That, I had completely forgotten. Not only had I broken the obvious rules of being bros but I had also broken his trust.

"I know Ed and I'm sorry! If I could undo it, I would!"I reached a fence that I dove straight under and discovered to my horror that I had reached the trailer park. For the smidgen of a second, I considered diving into Ed's arms but a loud crash woke me up; Ed had totaled the fence, swinging a gigantic oak around like a bat. I ran faster than ever before while ducking from his furious swings."Believe me, that is not how I-"

"Hey, it's our boyfriends Lee!" Dear lord, it got worse by the damn second. May had spotted us, which obviously wasn't too difficult. Of course, they joined the chase.

"Hey Eddy; how 'bout you show me your oak tree this weekend?" When the hell did she start coming onto me sexually?

"LITTLE BUSY RIGHT NOW KANKER!" I took another sharp turn left and cut through some trailers but not before throwing a glance over my shoulder to see the two Kankers' soaring through the air having been hit by the giant baseball bat Ed was swinging. Another odd thing that I only noticed after running for my damn life was Marie, not joining in but instead heading towards the Cul-de-Sac. "Ed, I'm sorry about it but listen, I will take my responsibility here!"

"ED'S IN TROUBLE EDDY!" Finally, I understood why Ed was chasing me. His parents.

"Ed, do you think your parents are gonna blame this on you?" Had to duck again, he was really starting to get the hang of swinging that thing.

"THEY ARE GOING TO BLAME IT ALL ONE ME FOR NOT LOOKING AFTER SARAH AND LOCK ME UP UNTIL I'M OLD ENOUGH FOR DIAPERS AGAIN EDDY!" Well, whatever moment of clarity he had experienced was now gone.

"Ed, LISTEN TO ME!" We had arrived at the Creek and I was really starting to get worn out so I decided to end it. At the very edge of the Creek, I turned 180 degrees in the blink of an eye and ran straight past Ed, barely avoiding his outstretched hand. With a swift moment, I mustered up the remaining power I had and kicked him in the back. The element of surprise was on my side, he flew straight into the Creek. "Sarah didn't figure out that she was pregnant until four months in and that's when she left Peach Creek three months ago! She left so that she could keep it a secret; your parents know nothing of the pregnancy! They aren't going to know about it if nobody tells them! And trust me; nobody is going to tell them over my dead body!" I was successful with my power speech, Ed stopped dead in his tracks climbing out of the Creek.

"Ed's... Not in trouble?" The gears in his brain were desperately trying to process the new information.

"No Ed, you're not in trouble at-"He dove for me quicker than I could react and the air in my lungs vamoosed completely.

'_This is it, this is when I freakin' die!_' I really thought I was going to die, Ed was literally choking me.

"I'M GONNA BE AN UNCLE TO AN ITSY-BITSY BABY EDDY!" He released me and I fell to my knees, gasping for air while Ed began dancing around, praising the wonder that was his sister's kid. If only I could've seen it all out of Ed's eyes instead, maybe I wouldn't be here on this train.

"Yes-"Christ that guy was strong, felt like my ribs were tangled together like a spaghetti dinner. "Yeah Ed, you are." He grabbed hold of my hands and pulled me into a spin out of joy. Of course, I still am who I am. "ED! Let go off me moron, I'm getting dizzy!" Ed let go off me, still spinning around which catapulted me face first into a nearby giant tree.

"WITH LITTLE TOES AND LITTLE HANDS!" He practically waltzed over to me, holding an imaginary baby in his arms.

"ED!" Only then did I get his attention, grabbing the collar of his shirt when he came close enough, damn spin left me lodged in the tree. "You CANNOT tell ANYBODY about the baby! It's a secret that we have to keep; otherwise you'll get locked up! Understand?"

"Okey okey artichokey!" He grabbed a hold of my collar and painfully pulled me out of the tree. "Celebration Eddy! JAWREAKERS ON ME!" Even though I wanted to bash his head in for dragging me behind him in the dirt while he was running to the Candy Store, those words could not have touched me more.

"THANKS ED!" The grin on my face could've powered a thousand light bulbs. That is, until my head hit a rock and I went out like a damn Christmas light.

* * *

_**Day 2: April 18, 9:27 p.m**_

* * *

It was around 9:30. I had spent the rest of the day with Ed like old times until he had to head home for dinner. I made him swear on a can of Campbell's gravy that I bought for his silence, it worked. Watching him run home to dinner like that, diving through the window to his room reminded me about old times. Old times and how much different everything was now...

I went home and walked into my room, opening my bigass closet and flicking on the light. We all had style changes over the years; Ed dressed mainly in dress shirts and sweater vests believe it or not. After a time where he'd get headaches by only opening his eyes he got glasses. At first, he looked what we thought Double-D would look like around now. Then we got used to that.

Double-D on the other hand threw out those god awful red-turned-orange t-shirts ages ago and finally did some damage control with plain t-shirts, hoodies and jeans. And that freakin' hat of his? Never left his head.

Me, I didn't really change too much. I stayed cool and loose in mindset and clothing, college jackets and slacks.

Why am I, Eddy McGee, talking about how our fashion senses changed when that seems like something Double-D would do? Well, I walked into the closet that night with one thing in mind. And I found it.

As I stood in front of the mirror, trying on the yellow shirt with the red stripe from ages and ages ago (I had grown like eight inches but the shirt still fit), I realized that shit was about to hit the fan big time. I was about to be a father. At seventeen. With my best friend's little sister. And only seven people in this world knew of it. Me, obviously Sarah, Ed, Max, Spencer and the Aunt and Uncle Sarah had stayed with. I was washed over with guilt when I realized that I had forgotten all about Double-D. I mean, he would tell me if there was a massive shit storm coming his way or big changes were happening. So why hadn't I told him?

_**DoubleD, got 2 tlk, can we meet?**_

Yeah, yeah, he always wants me to write grammatically correct and whatever but I had to see him right away. I needed to speak with someone and that fast. Most of all, him, having not told him was really starting to eat me up. Five minutes went past before I sent the next one.

_**Is reallly inportant mann!**_

I then realized that we had spent fifteen years of our lives just walking into each other's houses whenever the hell we felt like it so how was tonight different? I grabbed my keys from the nightstand, slid open the door that led into my back yard and walked out into the night, feet automatically moving towards Double-D's house.

_**Im comming over there now!**_

I snuck into the garden and stared up at Double-D's window. Darkness stared back. I picked up a pebble and threw it at the window. A small noise that practically echoed across the Cul-de-Sac. But no response. I threw another one. Then another one. And another. This was getting annoying. I considered throwing a larger rock but last time I did that, I smashed a window. His parent's bedroom window. Good thing they weren't home that time.

I decided a different approach; walking around the house to see if he was even home. Kitchen was dark, every upper floor room, the garage, the basement, everything. Except when I was just about to give up, I saw the bright light only a TV could give when the rest of the room is dark. He was in the living room, probably watching porn that sneaky bastard! I sneaked up to the window and was just about to bang the glass as hard as I could without breaking it when I saw it.

'_Is that... Double-D? AND MARIE KANKER? CUDDLING?_' At first, I thought about just storming in there and breaking up whatever snuggle fest they were having on that damn couch, was he out of his mind? With Marie Kanker? He could've scored Nazz any day!

... Of course, I was a little proud of him; Marie was hands down, and I still can't believe I'm saying this, the hottest of the sisters. That's not saying much but it's true.

Just as I put my hand on the door knob to basically kick open the door, it hit me. Marie's hiya and modest wave the day before, how absent Double-D had seemed in school (hey, I was thinking about my stuff but that doesn't mean I don't look out for my friends!) and that Marie was calmly heading towards the Cul-de-Sac while Ed and I were hunted like innocent lambs. She didn't just have the hots for him, _she actually liked him_! Chances were, he liked her back since he obviously let her into his home! Everything fell into place!

Of course, this could all be a big Kanker trick so I decided to text Double-D again.

_**Stopped by nd found you SLEEPING ON THE COUHCH WIT MARIEE KANKER! WHAT IZ GONG ON?**_

Until Double-D could actually say that it was like that, I couldn't get ahead of myself. But that of course meant that I didn't have anybody to talk with about my situation and I really, really needed to just talk my thoughts off. Then, it hit me again.

_**Hey, coudl I comme over? Neeed to tallk too someone**_

Outside of Ed and Double-D, I had never spoken to anybody in the Cul-de-Sac like that, about my feelings, serious problems and stuff. We just didn't have that sort of relationship, any of us. Then the phone beeped in my hand, a text.

_**Sure, come over**_


	4. Things Will Never Be The Same

**A/N: **This is the very last author's note for this story.  
'It All Comes Down To The Choices We Make' and 'The Detest For The Con Artist: The Choices We Make' are entwined more than ever so in the end, you may have to read both to get it. And if you wonder why I it's taken me two years to write four chapters each for the two stories; a very complicated private life and the fact that 'It All Comes Down' and 'The Detest' gets updated together. This means that Chapter 5 of this story won't come out before Chapter 5 of 'It All Comes Down' has been released and so forth. That is how much the stories entwine.  
Now, I'm no Picasso but there is a picture that goes with this and the fourth chapter of 'It All Comes Down' on my DeviantArt account:

flywheel-shyster. deviantart .com /art / The-Choices-We-Make-Chapter-4-271214697 (Take out the annoying spaces first though)

On the last note, I thank each and every one of you who has read this story so far, you are all fantastic. If you've been following it from the beginning, you are fantastically marvelous and if you have patience and follow this story to the very end, you have my eternal gratitude. Have a good day and I wish you happy reading.

* * *

**Chapter 4 – Things Will Never Be the Same**

* * *

Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that I am up to no good and own everything in this story except for anything associated with the Ed, Edd n Eddy franchise.

* * *

_**Day 2: April 18, 9:43 p.m**_

* * *

Around the time we all turned thirteen; the old abandoned house that we all once thought was haunted was suddenly renovated. Renovated good to that point. And so one day, the Flywheels' rolled up in front of it and moved in. I hadn't been there for ages though, they all moved somewhere else two years ago for reasons none of us never knew. They still kept the house though, every time they blew into town they stayed at their old Peach Creek home. And so suddenly, I found myself on their doorstep again after ringing the doorbell.

'_I can do this, it's just talking. It's just talking, nothing else. It's just- Fuck, I can't do this!_' The light from the Flywheel's hallway lamp suddenly swallowed me and I squinted. A shadow appeared in the doorway.

"What do you want Fishface?" Sarah Firefly was dressed in a night gown that was probably used as a tent by boy scouts before she got her hands on it.

"Just thought we should, like, talk to each other. Can I come in?" I decided that fighting with her was not a good option, not now not later.

"Whatever." She turned around and walked into the living room, leaving me there on the porch. The most disturbing thing was that I caught myself staring at her ass as she walked away; the pregnancy had really given her some well placed curves.

'_What the hell am I thinking? This is SARAH!_' I needed to focus; it was thoughts like those that got me into the damn situation to begin with.

"Are you coming or what?" Her irritated tone pulled me out of my thoughts. I stepped over the doorstep and closed the door behind me. With the familiar scent of the Flywheel house back in my nostrils, I felt safe and comforted. "Jeez, are you here to talk with me or yourself?" Then she opened her mouth again.

* * *

"So... You're pregnant." Captain Obvious struck again.

"NO! What makes you think that, dumbass?" She turned a little in her seat and I took in the view in front of me. Over the last couple of years, Sarah grew from a spoiled little brat to a... Well, spoiled bratty teenager. Even though her mind hadn't changed whatsoever, her physical changes were really screaming me in the face. How much she'd grown taller, how different her face was, how magnificent her ass was, not to mention the boobs! "Hey Pervy McGee, I'm up here!"

"Whoops, sorry!" I was lost in thought a second to long and she noticed. "So... You're pregnant."

"Are you gonna say anything else, Fishface, or can I get back to the TV?" I turned around and saw that the TV was on. The irony? She was watching _16 and Pregnant_ when she wasn't even fourteen herself.

"So..."

"I swear, if you say 'You're pregnant' one more time!"

"What's with the blonde hair?"

"Stupid Flywheels' didn't want anybody to recognize me."

"Hmm, logical." There was a pause; I was considering everything I was going to say. Twice. If I wasn't careful, this could end really badly. "Well... Good to see you again."

"Bullshit."

"Hell no!"

"You know it's bullshit, flathead!"

"What, like it could never be true?"

"No, it couldn't! You don't like me, I don't like you!" We glared at each other for a moment.

"Fine." She leaned back in her seat again. "But I could like you." She blew a raspberry in my direction.

"Bastard."

"I agree." She smirked.

"So, what you wanna talk about?"

"I don't know... Life in general I guess."

"Hmm, let's see." She put on a thinking face, mocking me like hell. "I'm pregnant, the father's the world's biggest jackass and that would all be good if it wasn't for the fact I'm not even fourteen!" She scoffed.

"Look, you think this is easy for me?" I was started to get thoroughly annoyed with this.

"Easier."

"I was living a happy life until the Flywheels' dragged you back here! Now, I'm about to be a father to a baby that I don't even get to keep without having a say? How do you think that feels Sarah?" I totally got caught up in the moment so I stood up. I was ready to continue, if I had broken down one barrier, I might as well break down all of them. "This is not my optional dream, to just go along with my life after this! To know that there's a kid out there who's being raised by strangers, that I'll never meet her, that she doesn't even know I exist! I get that you're the one who's pregnant but for fuck's sake, _this ain't really a picnic in the park for me!_"

"Hey, this is all your fault fuckface! You seduced me at that party! You-"

"Don't give me that crap; I know damn well you had nothing to drink that night! I on the other hand was as drunk as a group of dentists at a convention in Las Vegas and if I remember correctly, there sure as hell wasn't a lot of motion from me that night!"

"Should've figured you weren't good in bed after all!"

"Oh, so now it's about performance? I knocked you up, that must mean my performance was more than good in the book of Darwin!"

"Shut up you fucking bastard, you think this is about you?" I'm going to take a quick break here to say that after sitting down for a quiet moment earlier that evening, I found that I did indeed remember a few details from that night. A lot of them were fuzzy but the general picture of me and Max's escapades came back to me.

* * *

"_Woah, woah, he didn't mean anything by it!"_

"_No, no, no, I did mean it!"_

"_Come on now, it was a joke!"_

"_Nah, nah, I'm sure the Queen could take Obama in chess!"After that, I was punched._

* * *

"_Hey, hey Nazz!"_

"_Yeah dude?"_

"_Raging party girl!"_

"_Thanks dude!"_

"_So, we making out or what?"_

"_Well..."_

"_Kev's scoring in the closet."_

"_Come here Flywheel."_

* * *

"_Hey, you wanna see something cool?"_

"_What?"_

"_You wanna see something cool?"_

"_You just said that!"_

"_Did I?"_

"_I don't... I don't remember."_

"_Oh, too bad... But do you wanna see something cool?"_

"_What?"_

"_I can remove a part of this living room."_

"_What?"_

"_Yeah, one phone call."_

"_How drunk are you Max?"_

"_I'm telling you, I can tear away a part of this living room, give it to... Give it to Rolf or something!"_

"_Ten bucks says you can't!"_

* * *

Never gave him his ten bucks... Guess it's too late now anyway.

"Look, I thought I could do this but if you're gonna be a self-centered bitch about it, I'm sure you can do all of this shit on your fucking own Sarah! But know this, if it wasn't for Spencer or Max and your parents found the fuck out, you would realize just how alone you are in this world. No running to mommy, no Jimmy to turn to, Ed sure as hell would dump your ass at the first mention of a more interesting subject. So sit here and act like you're the queen of everything because it doesn't last. You gotta grow up sometime Sarah." I turned around and left after that. Walked straight out the door and paused on the porch, fuming with anger over the nerve of her.

* * *

To sound like an episode of How I Met Your Mother, if I had gone straight home that night, Sarah would've given up the baby a month or two later, she would've gone on with her life, eventually graduated, gotten married and started a new family while I would've been dead three days ago. I wish I could tell you that's how this story ends but it ain't. This story ain't that happy.

* * *

Now, if I hadn't stopped on the porch to fume for a while, I wouldn't have heard the most heart-breaking sound, except the time Ed accidentally ripped a $50 in half, ever. Sarah was crying. And not the old I'm-not-getting-my-way- or A-dolly-is-broken-crying, but real sad crying.

"Shit..." I had two options; ignore it or go back in. If I ignored it and left her there, I'd have the voice of my unborn kid scolding me forever. So I slowly walked back inside and there she was. Even though I had, up to that point, basically hated Sarah with every bone in my body, the picture of a pregnant Sarah, crying openly made me... Actually want to try to... Like her.

"LEAVE!" She all but screamed in my face. I ground my teeth silently and sat down on the couch next to her. "LEAVE FUCKFACE!" She screamed again but she didn't lift a finger to throw me out, that was a first. We sat there for like five minutes, quiet in our own thoughts. I occasionally glanced at the TV, seeing teenage couples with kids. Wouldn't surprise me if they paid couples to get preggers just for the show. We probably would've stayed like that until I would leave and it started to look that way when one of those teenage couples had a moment alone with their kid, daughter I think.

My heart literally skipped a beat when I saw that pink little face on the TV. To imagine that something like that was growing inside Sarah, that I had helped with the creationing of it, it just made all sense leave my head.

"I wanna keep the kid." I blurted out. A moment passed before she replied.

"You can't, it's going-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, the uncle and aunt up in Montana but just listen!" Images of a happy family flashed before my eyes. We could do it. We could raise this kid. "We would keep her at my house, my mom and dad taking care of her when we're at school and you can just say that you're over at some classmate studying when you'd really spend all of the time at my place, taking care of the kid."

"You-"

"I know that we're far from a couple, I know that we're even far from friends and I know that your aunt and uncle would probably be awesome parents. But this-"I let my hands hover over her belly. "- This little guy or gal, is ours. We should be the one raising it. I'm not saying it'd be easy; it definitely won't be a walk in the park. But this kid right here, this beautiful creation of life that you and I, two enemies, created... If that's not a miracle, I don't know what is." Her hands were rubbing her belly; I don't think she knew she was doing it.

"..." She seemed to be thinking about the entire thing.

"Look, I'm not saying you gotta decide this now, we got like two months before that thing pops. But think about it Sarah, think about your kid. _Our _kid." She was tearing up now, hope rushed through me. Maybe I had gotten through to her. "Here." I continued to follow my impulses; took off my college jacket and pulled the good old yellow shirt with the red stripe over my head. I'm not the most muscular, well-shaped guy but I make due. Her eyes went wide at the sight of me without a shirt. "Keep this. Remember the old times. Most importantly, imagine what Jimmy would have said." I put it next to her on the couch, looked at her one last time and turned. In the doorway, I heard a croaky voice.

"McGee." I turned and just in time caught a pen that she had thrown at me. I looked up in confusion but she was back to watching TV. I left the Flywheel house with great hope that night, hope that maybe I could keep this kid, maybe raise it in a loving a caring biological family.

'_Are you sure about this? Is this really practical?_' Then the voice of reason kicked in. Ironically, it sounded an awful lot like Double-D.

The voice was right though, none of this was practical. Me, a seventeen year old with shitty grades and no job on the side, and Sarah, a soon-to-be fourteen year old who wasn't even out of junior high yet! It was nowhere near practical for crying out loud! There was no way in hell my parents would feed an extra mouth, let alone _two_ if Sarah decided to stay over on a regular basis!

I had only focused on the positive things about having this kid and suddenly, all the negative stuff, all the shit you don't think about at first, came rushing over me. Images of the three of us getting kicked out, me as a janitor at school, living in the trailer park, Sarah as a stay-home trailer trash mom, our son growing up to drug dealing or our daughter turning out like the Kankers...

"Shit..." I stopped directly under a streetlight; this wasn't looking as a good plan when things came around. In fact, I nearly ran back to the Flywheel house to tell Sarah to get on the next train to Montana so I could move on, focus on other things than a kid I did have but pretended I didn't. But I didn't go back.

Instead, I stared down at the pen in my hand. Or what I at first thought was a pen. It was a pregnancy test, a positive one. If Sarah's belly wasn't enough proof, this was the physical evidence that it was all real. I was about to become a father at seventeen.

I probably stood there for a good ten minutes or so, mind completely blank before my pocket vibrated. It was a text.

**Go home and get some rest Skipper, you're gonna need it during the next weeks. Don't worry about a decision now; we'll deal with that later.**

I had a choice that night. I could choose to follow Spencer's advice and go home or I could've walked over to the front porch of the Flywheel house where she was standing with her phone in her hands and talked to her about all of this. One choice could've been the right and happy one and one was completely wrong and terrible.

I turned around and saw Spencer on the front porch of the Flywheel house, phone in her hand. I waved to her, went home and tried to ignore the stick in my hand that Sarah had once peed on as I tried to fall asleep.

I made the wrong choice.


	5. You Might Wanna Button It Like Benjamin

**A/N: **Rule #1: It's a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies.

I realized about a week or so ago that it's been two whole years since I started this beauty, back then as an entry in a Seddy contest. So I went back and read the first chapter... Mortified I was. **I have now re-written the first chapter of this story** because it would've been too big of a gap between writing styles later on. Two years... Time sure flies.

**Then there's my profile; I decided to update it completely. **My views on all of my stories are up there and a lot of other things that just fills out author's notes. **There's also something of a competition if you'd like to call it that.**

Due to the harsh language Mr. McGee displays, this story will be **M-rated** from the next chapter on. If it hasn't faced you so far, by all means, read on lad or lass!

If we don't talk again before the end, I'd like to thank you for the journey and hope you have a pleasant reading session, whether it be only this chapter or the rest of the entire story.

* * *

**Chapter 5 - You Might Wanna Button It Like Benjamin**

* * *

Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that I am up to no good and own everything in this story except for anything associated with the Ed, Edd n Eddy franchise or the city of San Francisco.

* * *

_**Day 3: April 19, 10:47 a.m.**_

* * *

I shot out of bed when the first sunray hit my window; had barely slept at all that night and when I did, nightmares of my kid as an orphan crack head on the streets of Bombay haunted me.

I dragged my ass out into the kitchen, throwing some bread in the toaster and grabbing the milk carton out the fridge to drink. I didn't though. Suddenly, I just couldn't move.

This was real. This- All of this was... Nothing like the movies where everything is just hugs and kisses, families all happy, living happily ever after and all that jazz. This was... This kid, this child Sarah and I had created... It...God damn it, I couldn't focus straight.

I mean, the way I saw it was that there were four ways this could go.

#1; we kept the kid and it's all good from Diego to the Bay. We'd get help from my parents, friends and the kid would get a happy childhood with both his parents after Sarah and I work out our problems.

#2; we kept the kid and we're on the highway to hell. The... The scenario I told you about with me as a janitor, Sarah as trailer trash mom and... Well, you know.

#3; we'd give the kid up to the uncle and aunt in Montana, he or she'd look me and Sarah up when he/she's 25 and there's a great, big family reunion and everybody lives happily ever after.

#4; we'd give the kid up to the uncle and aunt in Montana, he or she'd decide at 17 to look the real parents up only to discover that they'd moved on since long ago and started new families. This'd break the kid's heart so he/she'd go to Bombay; get a job in the Bollywood porn industry but dies of a speedball overdose before being able to catch HIV.

I twisted everything, every little decision, every damn choice, every unlikely scenario but somehow, it always came back to option number 4.

* * *

It's funny... I look down at Max, my beautiful, beautiful daughter now and I think... Never could I have imagined what actually happened; the horrible fifth option.

You see, so far, this is just the story of me, Eddy McGee, finding out he knocked a girl up, his best friend's little sister at that. There's nothing special with this story of course, you might as well turn on your TV and watch whatever reality shit with knocked up teens is on if you want that kind of crap. But it's not just walks in the park anymore. Shit's about to hit the fan. _Big time_.

I'm telling you. _Begging _you. For your own sake, stop reading, listening, however you're taking part of this. Because this... Is a part of me. This whole horrible affair that left me here, on a train in the middle of the American nowhere with my best friend out to kill me, the Kankers' out to kill him, his sister out to kill the both of us and everybody else just out to see blood. So I'm asking you, if you value your sanity to stop taking part of my story. These unfortunate events that left her... Her... Him... All of them...

...

Shit.

I can't do this. You're your own damn person; do whatever the fuck you wanna do, just know I warned you so don't come crying to me when the shadows on your bedroom wall turns into cans of soup, cliffs, tall buildings and pregnancy tests.

* * *

Where was I?

Oh yeah, I was making toast when... I just gotta tell you this thing, it's awesome.

* * *

_**Day 3: April 19, 10:50:12 a.m.**_

The toast pops up out of the toaster.

* * *

_**Day 3: April 19, 10:50:20 a.m.**_

I react to the toast popping out of the toaster.

* * *

_**Day 3: April 19, 10:50:24 a.m.**_

I grab the butter out of the fridge.

* * *

_**Day 3: April 19, 10:50:30 a.m.**_

I grab the toast and throw it on a plate.

* * *

_**Day 3: April 19, 10:50:32 a.m.**_

I place the butter knife against the toast.

* * *

_**Day 3: April 19, 10:50:33 a.m.**_

There is no longer toast in my hand; instead Ed has run the exact 31 seconds it usually takes to get to my house from his window in a slow and steady pace (Sockhead's words, not mine; he gets really bored around the summers) and munching away like the stoners that hang outside the candy store do.

* * *

_**Day 3: April 19, 10:50:35**_

I realize Ed's in my kitchen.

* * *

Here's the impressive part.

"Lumpy, what the hell are you doing here?"

"I heard the sound of a butter knife against toast Eddy!" You gotta hand it to him, his brain and eyes might've checked out ages ago but his ears are still open for business, better than ever.

"Don't you have bread at your house?" I rolled my eyes and threw another set of bread in the toaster.

"Not as tasty Eddy! Not as tasty!" He grinned like the spaced out airhead he is, toast crumbs everywhere.

"Aight." I grab him a glass (Double-D had another period where he tried to teach manners into us) and pour milk into it. "So Lumpy, what you feel like doing today?"

"Uhm..." I swear, you could see his pupils floating away from each other. "Go karting?"

"Something that doesn't cost money."

"Ice skating?"

"It's April!"

"Hang out at the junk yard and smoke weed?"

"Now you're talking."

* * *

Now hang on just one second, I know what you're gonna say. _It's bad for you, you get retarded, it's highly addictive and lethal!_ Trust me; we heard all that from Double-D. To skip the part where this becomes a lecture, if you said or thought one of the questions; _do your god damn research._

The reason we do- Did it was because it was an escape. From life, from reality. It seems like we left our childhood so suddenly, this was like a way of us connecting all over again. Especially when we got Double-D on board after Ed accidentally gave him a pot brownie which cancelled out the smoking factor; his only problem with it.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like we had a problem; it's just something we did to take the edge of like once a month. We spent a lot more time together sober than we did under the influence.

Bottom line, we were teenagers who smoked weed from time to time. Deal with it.

Now, I ain't gonna tell you what happened after we headed out of my kitchen. Paranoia over cops? A bit. But also because those times... Were our most sacred and private moments. When it was just the three of us, together again in that purple van.

I forgot to tell you, it's our- Well, Double-D's van now. Since it was just sitting there, he decided to fix it up. You know, get us a cool ride. So whenever he had time, he used to head over to the junkyard and lie under that thing. Ed and I helped of course, mostly by keeping him company after he found out we didn't know shit about cars.

So yeah, I hope you understand and all that because that's all I have left of them. The memory of three guys, sober or not, sitting in a junkyard somewhere fixing up a run down purple van with a water bed in the back.

* * *

_**Day 3: April 19, 3:04 p.m.**_

* * *

We usually made a day of it, grabbing snacks and soda on our way there. Draw straws on who should get more or if it was worth going to Lee's, a Chinese restaurant we were regulars at. This day was just like it.

"Hey Ed?"

"Yeah Eddy?"

"You wanna go to Lee's?"

"Chinese?"

"No, Kanker!"

"KANKER? NO GOOD FOR ED!"

"Calm the fuck down, it was a joke! God damn it, you're freaking me out with that talk!" We were always careful with Ed, one word and he went bananas. You'd talk about a homework on your way home and mention a teacher's name, he'd flip and hide in a bush until dark.

"BUT EDD-"I shoved a bottle of Coke into his mouth and he started nursing it. I went into a laughing fit and he followed suit, Coke splashing everywhere.

"What are you, some sorta fountain?" Usually, I'd be pissed for being drenched in Ed's spit but that's the magic; there was no hatred and no greed there in our corner of the planet. We always got along. 'Twas quite pleasant indeed.

"I forgot what we're doing Eddy!"

"We're heading to Lee's, I'm starving!" I jumped out of the van and barely took a step before I got two hundred pounds of laughing lump over me.

"After me Madame!" He got up, grabbed me by the head and started to walk in the direction of the main street of Peach Creek.

Some of y'all probably used to know Peach Creek back in the day and let me tell you, there's only been like one big change. They decided to build a mall when Peach Creek started to grow the last two years. Seemed they forgot all about the Cul-de-Sac though, the old construction site's still as abandoned as it's always been.

The mall wasn't finished yet though so we all just did what we always did; shopped on the main street were you found basically everything. There was the good old candy store run by old man Chesterfield, Lee's run by Lee... I tell you, every god damn time we came in there he tried to teach me his name but how the hell are you supposed to pronounce a name with 'a silent m, three ts and more vowels than consonants'? Yeah, Double-D had to explain it to me.

Well, Lee's ran by Lee Whatchamacallit, the grocery store by Tory and Beth Washington, bro and sis who took over after their old man had a heart attack, Mrs. Chesterfield ran the shoe and clothes stores, Bobby Williams singlehandedly took care of our 'city hall' and the Chesterfield's son Joe had the electronics store.

We had a Wal-Mart squashed in between Lemon Brook and Peach Creek but that was too far away for casual shopping. Besides, Peach Creek's always been a place of its own. That's why most of us living here opposed the mall; soon they'd probably cut down the forests and build parking places.

...

Right, I was saying something... Uhm...

Where was I?

Oh yeah, Lee's! Funny thing about Lee, he was like the coolest guy ever. It's like, he was always there. Like when I broke up with Joanna, this girl I'd been going out with for like two months, I was feeling really shitty. I went in to get some food, go home and sit on the couch until the end of days. Instead, he closed the place, took me to the kitchen, made tea and talked to me about... Just about everything except the breakup. How his father came to the States from a small island somewhere in Asia in a lifeboat, how the guy who delivered vegetables was sleeping with his boss, who of the teachers had been putting on weight since Christmas. I walked by Joanna the next day and didn't even look at her. Bitch was all over me after that.

Anyway, that day when we walked into Lee's was like any other. Ed stumbled through the door because he tried to pull for fifteen seconds before putting his weight on it, I walked after him laughing my ass off and Lee was just shaking his head, grinning.

"Gents, the use?" We had several 'usuals' at Lee's and he knew them all by heart. He could read our moods as soon as we walked through that door and depending on if it was just one of us or all three.

"Yes siree!"

"Coming right up!" He went straight to work; for days like those, when Ed and I were happy, the usual meant food for at least five normal people and soda for four.

"Hey Lumpy, you wanna-"I stopped midsentence and froze. I shoved Ed behind a huge plant in the corner before crouching down next to the counter and whispered: "Hey Lee, make that to go!"

"Huh?" He turned and made a face. "Oh yeah, they've been so quiet today I forgot they were here; sorry guys." May and Lee Kanker were sitting with their backs turned, heads huddled together like they were planning something.

"Sch!" I put a finger to my lips; he nodded and went back to the food. I turned and I saw that Ed was sweating, his eyes bouncing around the room. Yeah, he was about to crack. Great, how the fuck did we get ourselves into this kinda shit?

"Here you go!" I was startled at the sound of Lee's whisper and basically threw the money at him. I grabbed the bag, nodded to him, sneaked up to Ed, grabbed him and creeped up to the door. It looked like we were gonna make it.

"Hey May, it's our boyfriends!" The second my foot hit the asphalt outside, it's like somebody up there loves to see us suffer. The sound of their chairs flying to hell kicked us into gear and off we went.

"Thank you, come again!" I heard Lee somewhere behind me but I couldn't be bothered by that, I was running for my god damn life. If the Kankers got their hands on us again... Let's just say, their hormones had been all over the place for a couple of years.

"RUN EDDY!" The weight of the food and the soda was really slowing me down; a quick look over my shoulder warned me that they were closing in on me.

"ED! LIKE A DUNGEON DRAGON!" Ed, Double-D and I had worked out a code system for whenever we were chased by the Kankers; you know, so we could decide where to go, split up, shake off our Kanker and then meet up at the place. 'Like a dungeon dragon' meant Ed's room, 'Straight to the lab' meant Double-D's garage and 'Sick on Saturday night' meant my room. Worst came to worst, my chill hangout, my bro's former room, was 'Take Reynolds to Washington'. I remember back when... Can't believe I'm saying this but back when the Kankers' boobs were developing, they were so hormonal they chased us in there and then trashed my house for a good hour when they couldn't find us.

The system was bullet proof as long as you managed to shake off your attacker which we did in 99% of the cases. Of course, Double-D stopped being chased by Marie around two years ago but he ran anyway.

I threw the bag with the food to Ed just before he made a left to eventually jump the creek. I continued straight forward and sped up; I wasn't in great shape but I could hold up against Lee at least.

"Come here love muffin!" Speak of the devil, she was right behind me. I shuddered; this could get ugly really fast. I cut across the football field, jumping over the fence and continuing into the forest. I just wanted to get away from her fast and the best way to do that was to lose her in the woods.

"This is so not what I need..." It felt like I flew through those woods with the speed of an eagle, it was ridiculous. To make sure I got home safe, I practically ran in a big ass circle and came out at the same place I came in. Unfortunately.

"Nice running into you here!" I ran straight into the Kanker's arms; she hadn't followed me into the woods. Great, now she had me in a deadlock. Good god, she's hideous.

"Let me go!" I was struggling for my dear life but I knew she was stronger, she'd always been.

"Give me a kiss then!" That I couldn't see her damn eyes only made that grin so much more evil. This was only going to end one way so I figured; why not go out on my own terms?

"Sure!" I took a deep breath and dove in. And good god, it was the most disgusting thing ever. It tasted like... You know that smell that comes from burning hair? Combine that with the smell of stinky cheese and gasoline. I could feel a layer of something on her teeth. I don't know how many times I swallowed back vomit.

She didn't react at first, probably surprised, but then she started to kiss me back. Roughly. With tongue. It felt like... The only thing that comes close to that is the time Double-D shoved a loofah in my mouth. I decided that was that. I shoved her tongue back into her mouth with my own before biting into her upper lip.

"YEEEOOOW!" She flung me into a tree before starting to jump from one leg to another. Bruised and really nauseas, I jumped up on unsteady legs and ran for my life. The one time I looked back, she was checking her reflection in her cell phone. I snickered but was shut up when the taste came up.

I stopped at the playground and looked around before throwing my head in a trash can and vomiting violently. Fun fact, I wasn't the first one to blow chunks in there that day but I don't know who.

I stumbled up and jogged to Ed's house, throwing glances over my shoulder every now and then. I picked up speed when I came 'round Ed's backyard and slid into his room through the window.

"EDDY! You're alive!" The lump's face was covered in peanut and prawn sauce; he had already started to eat.

"Just barely!" I walked over, grabbed a box and threw myself in his armchair. "God damn, I'm getting too old for this shit!"

* * *

Yeah, you might be asking "_What's this gotta do with you knocking up Sarah?_" The answer is: nothing. Absolutely nothing. But if you can't remember where you're coming from, you can never move forward. That and the fact that an old friend's just entered my part of the train. It feels like it's been ages ago. It probably has, seventeen days can easily feel like seventeen years.

Not only am I a father now, I've also been exiled from my childhood home forever. The fact that I can't return... I didn't think it'd face me this much. Hang on, my friend's coming over.

"Hello Eddy."

"Hi."

"I'm sorry. For everything."

"S'not your fault."

"Your daughter's adorable."

"Takes after her mother all the way."

"Yeah, about Sarah..."

"Don't."

"I know."

"Do you?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"Who do you think?"

"Shit... I'm sorry, I forgot."

"It's okay; we both just came back from hell."

"Hell's hell maybe."

"Well put."

"So, where're you going?"

"Don't know yet. Thinking of getting off soon, change trains. That's what she'd do."

"Who?"

"Spence."

"You're after her too?"

"Who isn't?"

"You think she'll head down to-"

"No, Rio's way too obvious. Whatever she decides to do now is absolutely impulsive and illogical, she has to be unpredictable."

"You were always good at that."

"... You're right, we were. You still have her letter?"

"Yeah, I've been looking for clues of where the hell she's at but I haven't worked anything out."

"Can I have a look?"

"Sure."

"..."

"You see something?"

"No."

"You sure."

"No. I need time."

"I thought you were supposed to be smart!"

"Spencer Flywheel's cranium holds a brain with a chaotic and irrational mind. While we all love chaos, she's the only who believed that it was illogical. She drove us crazy in that way."

"So?"

"It's gonna take a while."

"... Aight then."

"Would you mind filling me in on all the things I don't know about the last seventeen days?"

"Sure, I just gotta go change Max."

"Haven't heard that in a while."

"Hehe, you know that's right."

"Well Eddy, it's nice to see a familiar face."

"Always nice to meet you, Flywheel."


	6. Reasonable Doubt

**Chapter 6 – Reasonable Doubt**

* * *

Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that I am up to no good and own everything in this story except for anything associated with the Ed, Edd n Eddy franchise or the city of San Francisco.

* * *

The one thing I really could do without when it comes to Max has got to be the diaper changes. How's a guy supposed to keep his lunch down around here? The fact that she's looking at me with innocent, unknowing eyes sure as hell ain't helping. Yeah, like she doesn't know what's going on.

* * *

_**Day 4: April 20, 12:34 p.m.**_

* * *

I'd spent the night at Ed's, the usual movie night that lasted until each and every soldier fell. Ed went out like a light around eight thirty; I lasted like five minutes longer.

We woke up around half past twelve, of course tired as shit. But since we had school the next day, we didn't wanna turn our sleep cycles inside out. We managed to do it with Double-D once before a big test. After we all set a record in shittiest score on a test, Sockhead included, he threatened to turn us inside out if we ever did it again. And we never did. As far as he knows.

"Hey Monobrow, you wanna get out of here to avoid your bed?" Yeah, I was so tired; I was willing to sleep in _Ed's _bed. That's saying something.

"Sleep is good for Ed..." He was freaking done for if I didn't get him out of there. That's the problem with partying or laughing your way through the nights in the middle of the school year; you can't do it and survive.

"Come on yah big..." I grabbed his ankle and dragged him after me walking out of his room. In the time it took to get from his bed to the stairs, he was snoring. "For fuck's sake." I walked up a couple of steps and yanked his leg, slamming his head in the first step.

"I'M UP EDDY, I'M UP!" Barely, the skin under his eyes looked like damn turkey necks.

* * *

_**Day 4: April 20, 12:41 p.m.**_

* * *

With every step, those stairs seemed to become longer and longer. It didn't help that Ed fell asleep three times either. When we finally made it to the kitchen though, he got lively. Or, you know, his stomach did.

It was like an earthquake; paintings fell off the wall, the refrigerator door flew open, I was thrown through the room and into the sink.

"Yep, I'm hungry."

"No shit Sherlock!" I pushed myself off of the faucet, fixed my spine and smiled. Then I went over and punched him in the gut. "So! What you in the mood for Lump-a-lot?"

"Ice cream, red herrings, pickles, pudding, popcorn, steak, potatoes without skin on! Question; what does these things all have in common?"

"Bad case of acid reflux?"

"EVERYBODY KNOWS I'M A MOTHERFUCKING MONSTER!" Having said that, he took a giant leap and landed on my head, basically crushing me. "CHUNKY PUFFS, YUM, YUM!" He grabbed the box from the cupboard behind me, jumped off my head and ran to the table, grabbing spoons and bowls. "MILK EDDY, MILK!"

"Yeah, sure, milk..." I felt like a cockroach, crawling over to the fridge smashed together. "Let's see..." I grabbed a shelf in the fridge and straightened myself out. Grabbed the milk and limped over to the table and collapsed in a chair opposite Ed.

"OH, YUMMY YUM!" Like a kid on Christmas, he tore the Chunky Puffs box open and emptied the entire thing in his bowl.

"Hey, Lumpy?" I held up my empty bowl and he looked puzzled at it. Grabbing a handful of cereal, he put it in my bowl with a look on his face like he was giving me a bottle of water after three weeks in the desert. "Yeah, thanks..."

"What was Double-D doing with Marie yesterday?" I dropped my bowl; _again_?

"What?"

"I went out for a morning walk-"

"A morning walk?" Ed, out on a morning walk? What the fuck was going on with my best friends'?

"Nightmares Eddy!" Oh yeah, whenever Lumpy had a nightmare, it'd usually go away at the end of the day. If it was some really fucked up shit (come on, it's Monobrow we're talking about here, 9 times out of 10), he wouldn't be himself for like a week.

"You feelin' better today?" I shoveled a spoonful of Puffs into my mouth.

"Dreamed of a pool of pudding with the skin on!" He grinned before, I'm not kidding, slamming his face against the table with his mouth open. Then he raised his head, bottom of the bowl sticking out of his mouth. I laughed.

"We really oughta have your brain checked up!" I saw how he gathered strength but I was way too tired to do anything about it. I was still laughing when the bowl had hit me full force between the eyes and knocked me to the floor.

* * *

_**Day 5: April 21, 1:29 p.m.**_

* * *

Now, I'm a simple man and sure I enjoy a good pranking every now and then. But not even I would call in a god damn bomb threat to the school! A stink bomb in the ventilation shaft would've done it, sheesh!

As a result, we were forced to sit on the damn football field with the classes we'd had at the evac. I was just fine with that, until old Antonucci announced that anybody not back in class after the thing without a valid excuse was over was to be reported dead.

"Good luck explaining that to your parents!" That smug bastard. So anyway, there we were. Or, Ed and I were; I didn't have the faintest clue where Double-D was at and quite frankly, I didn't give a rat's ass. He didn't wanna tell me about whatever was going on with Marie, fine, whatever, we'd only been friends since the beginning of time you know?

"Oh, I win!" Ed was on his phone, playing some ridiculous multiplayer game after I had politely told him to shove it.

"Lumpy, you're playing against yourself, of course you're gonna win!"

"And your point is?" I groaned; this was fucking brutal. We had sneaked off to sit against the fence, away from everybody else because... Well, let's face it; I had no intention to run into Lee Kanker after our makeooouuu- I'm gagging, I'm literally gagging.

"Urgh..." I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. A father.

That's when I realized that... I didn't know anything. I mean, the few things I'd picked up from Sex Ed made it clear that there was a little person growing inside Sarah. With hands, feet, eyes, toes, nose, ears, heartbeat, gender, it- He or she could survive if being born right there and then. My son. My daughter. My kid. No matter how many times I repeated it, shit was still unreal. Not only that, there was so much I didn't know yet. Would the kid stay here? The gender? ETA?

Holy shit, I hadn't heard from the Flywheels or contacted them for over 60 hours. They were my only god damn link to Sarah without actually speaking to her. Wasn't going to do that more than necessary.

60 hours...Talking about the damn Flywheels, they could be cross the country, down in South America or for all the fuck I know, in Singapore having coffee with Jonny in some shitty café.

"Hello Mr. McGee." My eyes shot open, you had to be kidding me.

"What's with you two?" Out of fucking nowhere, Spencer had appeared sitting next to me and Max next to Ed, usual sunglasses on.

"It's been a reaaaally long day...s." Max looked like he was about to pass out, head rolling around.

"What the- Are you drunk?" Ed was completely zoned out during all of this, must've been a really good game.

"He's landed at San Francisco Airport about half an hour ago." Spencer didn't look much worse but she sure as hell didn't look as run down as Max did.

"The hell did you do?"

"4 hours to LAX, 20 hours to Singapore and that was just the way there." What I tell you?

"You're shitting with me, right?"

"Oh, I never shit with anybody." I loved how he managed to look drunk, hung over and high at the same time. "Now if you excuse me, I gotta find and talk to Marie." He stood up and for a second, I thought he was going to fall over. "You haven't seen her, have you?"

"She's over by the bleachers with the- Wait a minute... What the hell do you want with her?" Since when was she the center of the universe? First Double-D, now Max?

"Just talking, it's nothing really." He groaned. "You have no idea how many times I wondered if it wouldn't be faster to row over there in a fucking boat of your own."

"Hey Max, what do you know about Double-D and Marie nowadays?" He raised an eyebrow.

"You haven't talked to him lately?"

"Uhm..." When I thought about it, we hadn't really talked since that day the Kankers' ambushed us outside school. When I found out Sarah was pregnant. "Not since Thursday."

"Thursday? I thought you were best friends through hardships and softboats!" I heard Spencer snicker next to me.

"Hey! He doesn't wanna tell me if he bags a chick, why should I be the one going to him?"

"You bagged a chick too! And now she's pregnant!"

"Same shit, different toilet!"

"You're impossible McGee!" If he hadn't grinned, I would've thought he was losing it. Or maybe he was losing it anyway? Who knows? "Sis, Eddy, Ed, until we meet again!" He took a bow before turning around and sneaking towards the bleachers.

"I'm starting to think he was dropped as a baby." I turned my head to see Spence trying to hold in her laughter.

"Would explain a couple of things." I grinned.

"It has to be that, I refuse to believe Simon's theory that he and Max are the ones who are normal while the world is going insane." She burst out laughing and I joined her; it was moments like that that I loved. Just sitting around, talking shit and watching the world pass by.

"Hey, did Max really just get back from Singapore?" If there was a border between truth and... The other thing, the Flywheels lived smack down in the middle of it.

"No idea, I touched down an hour ago myself."

"Where the fuck were you then?"

"Me? Oh, I've been in a boat on the Amazon River for about 45 hours before heading here."

* * *

"He really was in Singapore you know."

"Who cares? What does it matter?"

"It doesn't, just interesting bit of trivia I guess."

"You Flywheels travelled all over the place and no one was ever sure about where. That one time wasn't really special."

"Well, you got the cause for that explained in Spence's letter about a week later, right?"

"8 days later."

* * *

_**Day 6: April 22, 10:24 a.m.**_

* * *

"... At least 5 centimeters deep and with a frequency of 100 per minute." I don't even know why I went to school, it's not like I could focus anyway. My mind was always on Sarah and the baby, especially after Spencer told me I was gonna get to see a picture the day after this one. Even if I didn't have that on my mind, I'd still want to kill myself; Mr. Elmqvist's hours, Health class, was one of the greatest snooze fests ever.

"Good god, kill me now." I heard someone mumble somewhere behind me; would've laughed if it wasn't for the fact that everyone in the class, including me, was praying that same prayer.

"Note that cardiopulmonary resuscitation, or 'CPR', alone or with artificial respiration, or 'mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, wouldn't bring the subject back to life but rather provide the brain with oxygen and prevent tissue death before it can be shocked back into rhythm by, exampli gratia, a defibrillator or..." I was moments away from banging my head against the desk top when I felt something poke my arm. I turned my head to see Nazz holding out a pad towards me. I grabbed it and read the short question.

'_Are you dying too?_' I was a little thrown off; sure we were friends but I never really spoke with Nazz, especially not after she got together with Kevin.

'_You kidding me? I'm starting to wonder if he'll have to demonstrate CPR on one of us before class is over!' _I scribbled down quickly before passing it back to her. She read it and giggled before writing a response.

'_Yeah, doubt he could be more boring if he tried._'

'_Too true._'

'_Hey, have you done the report on Chekhov yet?_'

'_Who the fuck is that?_'

'_That weapons guy? He was like a manufacturer or something._'

'_Are you kidding me? That's the kind of thing you do the morning it's supposed to be handed in!_'

'_I like the way you think, Eddy. :D BTW, was that Max Flywheel I saw you with yesterday on the football field?_'

'_That didn't sound perverted at all!_'

'_Shut up, you know what I mean!_'

'_Just yanking ya' chain, yeah that was him_'

'_When did he get back?_'

'_Thursday._'

'_Oh, cool._'

'_Why you wondering?_'

'_We got together at that party I threw like seven months ago, thought it'd be fun to do it again._'

'_Yeah, he told me about your hot and heavy makeout session on the dance floor. ;D_'

'_What? Oh that! No, that was just the prelude!_'

'_What?_' I looked up at her in surprise and she blushed while smiling shyly.

'_Oh, nothing. Hey, you know what's up with Double-D and Marie?_'

'_No idea, haven't talked to him in a while. My best guess is they got something cooking._'

'_Huh?_'

'_They're getting it on, I don't know._'

'_Really?_'

'_I don't know!_'

'_Shit..._'

'_Why, what's up?_'

'_Well... Can you keep a secret?_'

'_Sure._' I wasn't sure though. The fact that she even mentioned her and Max's moments during the party was... I don't know but it made me a little uncomfortable.

'_I got, like, the biggest crush on Double-D. Since, like, way back._' Oh yeah, there we go. Now I was definitely uncomfortable.

'_For real?_'

'_Yeah, sorta why I broke up with Kev. That and he always wanted to fuck._' I had to grab a hold of the soles of my shoes with my damn toes to avoid slamming my head against the desk while screaming in pain at the images that came from that. '_I don't know, I mean, he kissed me at the party so I guess he must feel something. Do you think he's just helping Marie out with homework or something?_' I looked up and she had the look. _The _look. The pleading look to tell her what she wanted to hear, not what she needed to hear.

'_Yeah, yeah, I'm sure that's it._'

'_I'm just saying, it doesn't make sense for Double-D to start liking her now after everything the Kanker sisters have done to you._' Crazy bitch had a point.

'_True._'

'_Cause that kiss at the party... I've never felt anything like it. And I don't think you can be that passionate if you were drunk._' Oh, I had been pretty passionate with Sarah. Well, passionate enough.

'_Yeah._' She started to scribble down another message when the bell started to ring. I grabbed my bag, shoved the books into it and before Nazz or Mr. Elmqvist could react, I was out the door.

For fuck's sake, Nazz wanted to hook up with Double-D? While he was hooking up with Marie or whatever the hell they were doing? This was- No, I couldn't get involved in whatever the hell this cheap Desperate Anatomy knockoff was. I had my own damn problems. I was the 17 year old father of a kid whose mom I had been in war with since her birth. A kid who'd probably ask '_Daddy, why don't you love mommy? Don't you love me? Was I a mistake? A problem? I hate you daddy!_'

God damn it, I couldn't take another fucking second of this torture. I made my way through the sea of school kids either going to their next class or lunch, heading to the exit. And for a moment elbowing myself through the crowds, I felt like my old self. Just another bored kid in high school with an undecided future. Holy shit if that didn't sound like heaven for the moment.


	7. Dream a Little Dream of Me

**Chapter 7 – Dream a Little Dream of Me**

* * *

Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that I am up to no good and own everything in this story except for anything associated with the Ed, Edd n Eddy franchise or the city of San Francisco. Why I would own that is beyond me.

* * *

_**Day 7: April 23, 3:27 a.m.**_

* * *

"I thought you quit."

"I did. This is me starting again."

"Got a spare?"

"Sharing is caring, after all." We were sitting on my door step, the cool air calming me down after thrashing around in my bed like a dolphin caught in fishing net. Insomnia wasn't the problem, dreaming was. _All fucking night._

"So..." I grabbed the lighter he held out towards me and lit the cancer stick. "What're you doing out here in the middle of the night?"

"I could ask you the same thing you know."

"Can't sleep."

"Who can?" Silence, apart from the inhaling and exhaling when we took drag after drag. "Shit's about to hit the fan, my friend."

"What?" My head whipped up; was something up with Sarah?

"Don't worry; it's not even remotely related to Sarah." I sighed in relief. "It's- God, I'm so fucking sick of this!" He buried his face in his hands.

"What?"

"Everything." He inhaled deeply and ran his hands through his hair. "Everything. My parents, my brothers and sisters, this miserable world we live in, mys-"He paused. "Myself."

"What's going on Max?" I'd never seen him like this before.

"I'm..." He flicked the cigarette to hell and lit a new one. "I'm so sick... Of not being able to tell you."

"Tell me what?" You could write books about the shit Max Flywheel had withheld from us. All of the Flywheels I guess.

"Everything. Absolutely... Everything. You're supposed to be one of my closest friends... And I can't tell you anything about what I do."

"Why not?"

"It's dangerous. My parents..." He hesitated for a moment."My parents worked at a... Firm, a bureau, an agency, if you want. And... They handled information; information so powerful that, in the wrong hands, would be disastrous for the Western Civilization."

"Okay..." Honest to whatever's up there; I didn't know whether or not to believe him. I mean, it sounded like something straight out of a Will Smith movie.

"It's obviously unbelievable, I understand. But that's why we had to move away from New York in the first place; Mom and Dad were relocated for their own safety. For _our _own safety." He paused and took a drag. "The relocation brought on new jobs for them after deciding that staying with the bureau would be too dangerous in the long run. So after a year or so here, Dad got a big promotion at work and as a result, we moved back to New York."

"Aight..." This was just about the most personal thing Max Flywheel had told me since... Since they all moved. "But all the travelling?"

"Mom got a job as a flight attendant so we got a shit load of flyer miles to use."

"So that's it? The mystery of the Flywheel family? It's as simple as that?" He opened his mouth but hesitated, for the slightest of seconds.

"Yes. That's about it."

"But if they quit the... Bureau or whatever, shouldn't everything be cool now? The whole dangerous business?"

"Apparently not; certain people, don't know so don't ask, think my parents have certain information about something, which they don't."

"Ah, so- Chain smoking, are we?"

"It's always five o'clock somewhere."

"So all this time... You never told us anything to protect us..."

"If you don't know anything, you can't spill the beans to... Well, whoever would be asking." It all made sense now. Everything from their disappearances to reappearances to the travelling and to all the secrecy surrounding it.

"Huh. How about that?" Max's parents... Hunted, by mobsters? Drug lords and kingpins? The government?

Another severe twist in the story. You wake up from haunting dreams concerning romantic/erotic situations and your unborn kid making snuff films in Istanbul and find out your best friend is the son of James Bond! Well, close enough. I was just about to ask him something when he made a statement with a sullen voice. The truest statement throughout this entire story.

"The song is ending, Eddy McGee. In more ways than one." He stopped to take a drag and I waited for him to continue. When he didn't, I stared at him for a good minute or so before opening my mouth.

"What song?" The song is ending... What could he possibly be thinking about?

"Think about it." And I did. I truly did. This was the end... The true end of my entire childhood. There was no turning back.

"I'm gonna be a father."

"Yes you are."

"I'm gonna have a kid."

"Indeed."

"I'm... A grownup..."

"Here, smoke on it!" He handed me another cigarette and as if on autopilot, I lit it automatically. I was having a child... When not one week ago, I had been one myself.

"I can't do this. I'm not fit to do this." How had I not seen this before? I was nowhere near qualified to raise a baby, Sarah even less so!

"I think you're more qualified than you even imagine."

"How do you know? How the fuck could you know, Max?!" I suddenly hated him. I hated him, sitting there with his normal life, normal problems and normal family telling me that everything was going to be okay. He wasn't the 17-year old having a kid with his best friend's little sister! His best friend's _spoiled, immature _little sister!

"You know something, McGee?" I was half-hoping he would sock me in the eye and scream at me. But he didn't. He laughed shortly before taking a deep breath. "You're absolutely right. I haven't got the slightest clue if you and your kid are going to be okay. For all I know, the whole thing could turn to guano faster than nightfall." Silence fell over us for a couple of moments. "But I'll be darned if you don't make the best of the situation, whatever it may be."

"Yeah, maybe... Maybe you're right..."

"I sure hope so at least." He flicked his cigarette but didn't replace it with a new one; a sure sign he was thinking of leaving.

"Hey, can I ask, like, a really personal question?" Wow, this whole baby thing had changed me drastically; I never asked if I could ask a personal question, no matter what degree. This whole thing had really thrown my entire character out of whack.

"Shoot."

"Have you... Have you ever been in love?" He turned his head in surprise and stared at me for a good minute or so before slowly reaching into his pocket to grab another cigarette.

"Yes." It was like it pained him to admit it.

"Who?"

"My best friend." My eyebrows shot up.

"Hey, man, I'm flattered and all but-"

"No, no, not you. You're not even close to being my type!"

"Then... Who you talking about?" He stared at the asphalt as if seeing memories being played on it.

"I called her Kitty; she hated it. Truth be told, I hated it too; I just called her that to annoy her." He cracked a smile. "She was... An angel. The personification of an angel. Hair as golden as the sun, eyes to match the sky and a laugh that sounded like the music of the spheres..." Whatever the hell that was.

"So..." I piped in; he was obviously lost in thought about this 'Kitty'. "What happened?"

"We..." He cleared his throat."We were together, on and off after I moved back to New York; more on than off. It was... Magical, the kind of love they write books about."

"You on now?"

"No." He answered shortly. I was going to bring up my own problem when he continued. "She died."

"Shit."

"You could say that twice."

"Holy shit, Max." I changed my mind; Max Flywheel's life was... Just about as fucked up as mine. The only difference was... His story was about death; mine was about life. That would of course change but I'll get to that later.

"Holy shit indeed, my friend."

"Why didn't- Why didn't you tell me?" Another hand down the pack, this time he handed me one.

"I...I- I don't know. I honestly don't know. It was just- God, I don't know." He ran his hand through his hair again. "I guess I was just... Too heartbroken. Christ, I didn't even talk to any of the others for like a month." The others being the other Flywheels I guessed.

"It's cool man. It's cool." I put a reassuring hand on his shoulder and left it there, he made no attempt to remove it.

"I miss her. She..." He paused and took a heavy, unsteady breath. "She loved life. She loved the world. And she hoped. No matter what the cause, what the trouble, what amount of shit humanity threw onto the world or her, she never stopped hoping."

"..." I opened my mouth but... I had nothing to say.

"' Seems to me it ain't the world that's so bad but what we're doing to it, and all I'm saying is; see what a wonderful world it would be if only we'd give it a chance. Love, baby - love. That's the secret.'"

"How... Beautifully true."

"One of her favorite sayings. By Louis Armstrong."

"The 'What a Wonderful World' guy?"

"None other."

"I love that song."

"So do I. So did she. We both did. It was... Ours." A lone tear travelled down his cheek.

There we sat. Two young men, results of the trials and tribulations of life. It's funny, you'd think that the choices you make are what shapes your life into what it is, what it will be... But it's just as much the choices of others that create your life. This whole life changing story... About choices. But almost none of them my own.

"Yo! We've been looking everywhere for you!" I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard the voice of another Flywheel in front of my lawn. "If we'd known you'd be on the front step of- I thought you stopped smoking!"

"I did! This is me starting again!"

"Spencer's not gonna like this, Max!" It had been quite some time since I last saw Linus Flywheel in the flesh; about a year or two after they moved away I think. It's not that he didn't visit that often, it's just whenever he popped in, Max and I would awaken in Canada, Mexico or Argentina after a night of partying hard with- Ah... Their mom became a flight attendant... That explains- Well, everything except the 'Cast Away' island.

"You think I like this?" It was then I noticed another Flywheel behind Linus; Simon. It had been even longer since I had seen him; not that he didn't visit either but he really hung out more with Double-D than with me.

"This does not give you an excuse to start again, Simon!" Max shot a menacing look in his brother's direction.

"No, no, I'm not even here!" I flung my arms dramatically in the air.

"Hi Eddy, long time no see!" Linus cracked a grin, Simon doing the same.

"It's been, what? A year and a half? I remember we went to that party downtown and I woke up with you passed out on a train to Seattle." What? I'd never partied with Simon!

"We never partied together, Simon!"

"No, no, you did! I remember buying the tickets for you before..."Max's face suddenly showed realization, as if he had remembered something."I think-"

"Oh yeah!" Simon's grin got even wider."Wasn't that-"

"I think it-"

"I had completely forgotten-"

"I wish I had forgotten-"

"By George, you're driving me insane with your half sentences! We talked about this; finish whatever the fuck you have to say!" Linus snapped before pinching the bridge of his nose while Simon and Max just grinned at each other. "What happened after you bought the tickets, Max?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Come now, wasn't there-"

"I don't wanna talk about it!"

"If my memory serves me right, she was-"

"I will end you, Simon!"

"And her sister was more than-"

"You better shut your mouth right now!"

"I WILL DRUG AND KILL YOU IF YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!" Linus glared from brother to brother who both smiled sheepishly.

"I... May have proposed to an elderly woman-"

"- Who you thought was the Queen of England-"

"-Whose sister-"

"- 80 years his senior-"

"- Made a proposal of her own to take the party back to her place-"

"- Which you would have had a police officer walked by at that precise moment-"

"- Making them shove their dentures back into their mouths-"

"- Grabbing their Zimmer frames-"

"- And limping away for their lives-"

"- Only stopping once to blow you a kiss over their shoulders." Linus and I howled with laughter at the story of Max's drunken adventure.

"We've got to party like that again!" I wiped away a tear.

"Maybe not the best idea... Considering what happened last time..." Linus commented. Right. Sarah. Pregnant.

"Right..." A silence, a bit more awkward this time, fell over all of us.

"Simon! You're driving me to a store to buy cigarettes!" Max suddenly shot up and approached his brother.

"Why in the name of Harry James Potter would I do that?"

"Because it's raining like hell and I can't help it! Ta-ta, McGee!" He flashed me a grin before slapping Simon upside the head and running away.

"For the love of..." Simon turned and started to walk after his brother.

"Yo, Simon!" He stopped and turned at the mention of his name; I have no idea why I wanted to know but... Curiosity I guess. "You ever been in love?" He looked at me puzzled before smiling connivingly.

"No." With that, he turned and walked into the fleeting darkness of the morning. I turned and looked at Linus who had taken Max's seat next to me.

"How are you?" He offered a heartwarming smile.

"I'm... What did Max mean by 'it's raining like hell'?"

"We, especially Max and Olivia, have taken the belief of Mr. Stephen Fry to heart; that mood is like weather, it always is and can't be changed. If it's raining, it's raining and there's nothing you can do about it." In a weird way... It made sense.

"So he's feeling like shit?"

"Basically, yeah."

"No wonders..." I still can't believe he kept a dead girlfriend from me. I mean, I get that it's a horrible thing but... What a hypocrite I was. Had I talked to Double-D about my life changing event? No. "He told me about... Kitty."

"Oh." His smile faded away. "Yeah, that was... It was sudden."

"How'd she die?" He eyed me suspiciously.

"How much did he tell you?" Odd question I thought.

"Well... They had an on and off relationship after you guys moved back to New York and when she died he didn't talk to you guys about it."

"_Not talk_?! That's the understatement of the century; he fled the country for a month before even so much as a text message to any of us!"

"He just left?"

"Within the same hour hearing the news! We didn't hear about it until three days afterwards and at that point we were close to calling the army, navy and air force!" I figured it had hit him hard but not that hard.

"Holy shit... So, how'd she die?"

"Car crash, other driver got away with a broken rib."

"That's..."

"Shit."

"Yeah." I can't even imagine losing, what imagine was, the love of my life before I'm even 18.

"So, what's up with you?"

"Well..." I had completely forgotten all about my own problem. It seemed... Somewhat insignificant now. "Have you ever been in love?"

"What kind of a stupid ass question is that?! Never in a million years would I expect you to ask me that!" I guess I was acting really out of character by now; not only had my life done a complete 180 but also forced to continue forward so... It had done another 180, adding up to a full 360. It makes sense, I swear.

"Never in a million years did I expect to have a baby with fucking Sarah Firefly." I countered, sullenly.

"Touché." He cracked a small smile before continuing. "No, I would say I've never been in love."

"Really?"

"It is impossible to fall out of love. Love is such a powerful emotion, that once it envelops you it does not depart. True love is eternal. If you think that you were once in love, but fell out of it, then it wasn't love you were in. There are no 'exit' signs in love; there is only an 'on' ramp."

"Who said that?"

"Haven't got the faintest clue. Doesn't make it any less true."

"Definitely not." Silence.

"What's on your mind, Eddy?" I sighed; I had almost been dreading that question all night.

"I... I've dreamed. All night. At first, it was about the usual; cash, chicks and fast cars."

"Of course."

"But then they came. The nightmares about... Him. Her."

"Who?"

"My kid."

"Ah."

"And... They start out great. Like there was one where the three of us, Sarah, the kid and I, sat down at the table to have a Thanksgiving dinner."

"Turkey with the family can be rather nightmarish indeed." I rolled my eyes and he looked a bit ashamed.

"Anyway, we're sitting there at the table, eating, when the kid suddenly announces that he or she's moving to Mongolia with the ten year older partner. And I just lose it. Start screaming at the kid. About how I built a life for us out of nothing and how the punk should be grateful we didn't decide to abort him/her."

"Harsh."

"That's when the kid starts screaming back how his/her existence is a fraud, how Sarah's nothing more than a slut who fucked a four year older drunken fuck at a party and... That's where I slap him. Or her, I don't know; the kid has this sort of weird boy/girl look going on."

"Where you don't know what sex the person is?"

"Exactly. So I just walk over... And I slap my own child. Sarah doesn't say a word. The kid just stares at me through tears. Then... He/she grabs two bags that's standing next to the door and runs out. I don't even call out after him/her. I just let the kid go." I pause for a moment; the emotions I felt during the dreams are coming back, as real as if it was happening right there. "The next day... Sarah comes in and says only four words. 'This is your fault'. She drops a piece of paper in front of me and it's a letter. From the cops. Says the red eye to Mongolia's crashed in the middle of the ocean."

"And your kid-"

"- Was on it. That's when I hear a gunshot in the other room. Sarah's shot herself."

"Shit... That's heavy." We sat in silence, just looking out over the street. The street I grew up on. Maybe the street my child'll walk, play, ride bikes, scam other kids out of their allowance."But hey, it doesn't have to be like that."

"I know. It probably won't be like that at all. But... I can't stop thinking about it."

"Look, whatever you do in life, there's always gonna be a worst case scenario. And in this case, I'd say it's something along the lines you just described. But if you keep thinking about all the bad things that _could_ happen, think about all the good things that could happen _instead_!" What was this; quote and advice day?

"I know, I know! I usually just ignore it but... The dreams just seem so real..."

"They're designed to be." The sun was starting to rise somewhere, the darkness escaping. "That wasn't the only dream you wanted to discuss, was it?"

"No, it ain't." I was almost glad Linus was the Flywheel I was talking to; Spencer would never stop teasing me about it, Max would probably laugh about it for a good ten minutes and Simon would throw in one snide and sarcastic comment after another because that's just the way they are. It's just their way of showing that they care. Or so Linus would have me believe. Anyway, Linus could be considered 'the softie' out of the five, the more emotional, romantic. "After a while, the nightmares were exchanged with... Other dreams."

"Such as?"

"Well... There's one where Sarah and I are standing over the kid's crib, holding hands, looking at the little thing sleeping soundly. We look at each other for a moment before... I kiss her. And she kisses me back. Then we go downstairs, to the couch, and we make love."

"And this was about Sarah?" The question's not out of mockery but real curiosity.

"Yeah. And I know we made love because... It was tender. It was sweet. It was soft. And afterwards, I just held her. I don't know how long we were just lying in each other's arms, feeling the other's every breath."

"Yowsers... Entire marriages can go by without that kind of passion."

"The last thing I remember before waking up was whispering 'I love you' to her." There it was. The dream that haunted me. Nothing bad happened, no one died, no one moved to Bombay to make porn. It was just... Feelings between a young man and a barely young woman. And boy if that didn't scare me more than anything in the world.

"Let me ask you this; do you have a crush on Sarah?" I had asked myself that question so many times; it was strange to hear it from someone else.

"I don't know."

"Do you like her?"

"I don't know, maybe."

"Do you care for her?"

"Yes."

"Would you care for her if she wasn't pregnant with your child?" Good question; would I?

"I don't know... I guess so."

"Would you like her if she wasn't having your baby?"

"What, romantically?"

"If you'd like."

"... Maybe."

"Well then, Mr. McGee, I can't help you any further than that." He heaved himself up. "There's only one person who can guide you out of this maze of feelings you've built."

"Jack Daniels?"

"No. Well, yeah, but I was thinking about yourself." He smiled slightly at my joke.

"Figured."

"But, I'm going to leave you with this-"He pulled out a pen and pad from his back pocket, quickly scribbled something on it and handed to me. "- Which will hopefully make you feel a bit better. Good night, Eddy." With that, he smiled and turned, leaving me alone in the approaching sunlight. I looked down and read the paper:

**/watch?v=2nGKqH26xlg**

I instantly knew what it was; it was a link to a YouTube video, you just wrote it in after the .com part. Since I knew I would only fall asleep if I went inside, I whipped out my Smartphone, opened up a browser window and quickly pushed in the numbers and letters.

'_What the hell could this-_'Could it be a coincidence? In the aftermath of everything, hardly; that bastard Linus knew.

I smiled to myself and plugged in my ear buds.

I was about to be a teenage father with an even younger teenage mother. You bet your ass I was repeating it over and over; I'm actually sitting here with my daughter in my arms and I still can't believe it. Mind blowing won't even begin to describe this whole thing. Life changing is too weak of a word. World turning, just barely. Fucknut bananas, there's something.

The talk with the Flywheels had made up my mind. Sure, there was a chance Sarah and I fuck up our kid's future by keeping him or her but we have just as big a chance to give the kid a life and love. The kind of life and the kind of love a kid deserves in this rotten world.

Maybe, just maybe, I could do this.

For the first time, I took a damn good look at the abandoned street. That magical street where we grew up. Countless of scams, lazy days by the creek, the swimming hole, mowing lawns or playing in the junkyard. Memories of a childhood hastily left behind. Memories left in the night and the sun rising over the rooftops to welcome and greet a new generation of kids whose sole purpose is to fill Rathink Avenue with new memories.

Max was right; the song was ending. But the story continues.

"Good morning Ed-boy!" I looked to my left to see Rolf walking up the street with Wilfred on a leash. "What are you doing up at this hour of the day?" I smiled to myself; why change the classics?

"Just sitting around, thinking about this wonderful world of ours."


	8. One Small Step

**Chapter 8 – One Small Step**

* * *

Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that I am up to no good and own everything in this story except for anything associated with the Ed, Edd n Eddy franchise or the state of California.

* * *

_**Day 8: April 24, 07:45 a.m.**_

* * *

I didn't even know why I bothered to go to school; it's not like my productivity had shot through the roof what with finding out that I was carrying on the McGee legacy at the age of 17. But I guess it was to just get the hell out of the house before my thoughts could eat me alive. I was still thinking about the talk I had with Linus and when I thought about it... God damn it, I couldn't be crushing on _Sarah_. That's like Marie and Double-D suddenly living happily forever after one afternoon of talking!

Who the hell was I kidding? I couldn't damn well get her the fuck out of my head. Half of the times, Robin wasn't even involved in those thoughts. Yeah, I decided to call the baby 'Robin' for the time being; calling him/her 'the kid' was starting to feel wrong. Or, at least I called him/her Robin in my head, along with tadpole; a nickname Dad had for me when I was a prankstering preschooler. Robin. So much she could be. He could be. At least in my thoughts. In my fantasies...

We could do it. We had to be able to do it. I would fight to my very last drop of blood to make sure that this child was going to grow up loved. Whether with or without me. Because, I had come to accept it, there was a chance everything turned to shit. So as a backup card, aunt and uncle in Montana.

I rounded a corner, soon at school. I crossed over the empty street, barely glancing both ways and narrowly running past a white van that stopped a little further up the road.

I wondered a lot. Wondered if Robin would like me. Listen to my fucked up adventures with Ed and Double-D. Look up to the old man. Wondered what Sarah felt towards me. Wondered if her lashing out to me was a schoolyard way of saying 'I like you'. Wondered why I hadn't realized earlier that I actually sort of... Missed her during the time she was away. Maybe this crush didn't come out of the fact that we were having Robin; maybe it came out of the fact that... She was my first. Was that it? That it was all nostalgia? Or that I just wanted to nail her again? I mean, sure I'd felt pretty strongly about some chicks over the years; especially after Nazz's party but in most of the cases, it went away after we'd done the nasty. So maybe that was it; I wasn't really crushing on Sarah, I was just a horny teenager wanting to fu-

"OOOOMMFFFFFTTT-"I suddenly couldn't breathe. I tried to fight whoever was holding onto me but the hand over my mouth tightened its grip as I was dragged through the side doors of the van. There goes my life with Robin and Sarah; I was being fucking kidnapped.

"Go!" ... And you had to be fucking kidding me. I pushed her off of me and took a couple of panicked breaths, just to see I still could. With friends like these, who the fuck needs enemies?

"How about... Just saying... 'Hi!' for a fucking change?!" None other than Spencer Flywheel herself grinned sheepishly at me.

"Sorry, Skippy; I lost a bet to Simon."

"You're still doing that stupid ass thing?"

"Family tradition, Skippy." A lot of the weird shit the Flywheels did could be summed up to one thing; bets. They'd bet on almost everything, from whether it was gonna rain or not to the exact number of times Antonucci wiped his forehead when giving his end of the year speech. If you won? You had to give the loser something to do, a task or quest or whatever. In this case...

"So, you lose a bet and you have to fucking kidnap me?!"

"Well, not precisely..." She scratched her head. "He just told me to pick you up in the most unorthodox fashion I could think of; without you suspecting it."

"Great fucking job then; who the fuck suspects getting hauled into a van on their way to school in the morning?!"

"The hot air balloon cost too much to rent..." It looked like she was starting to realize she may have crossed a line; you better believe she had.

"It was my suggestion to kidnap you, Fishface." It felt as if Spencer had clamped her hand over my mouth again as my heart skipped... Several beats. And that was just at the sound of her voice from the front seat. I was definitely crushing on her.

"Yeah, thanks Sarah."

"You see, I told you I was going to show you a picture of the baby so I figured-"

"You said I would see it yesterday!"

"... Shit, it's Thursday already?"

"Learn time, Flywheel." Sarah chipped in.

"Too little, too late. As I was saying, you're going to see it today!" An actual picture... Of my tadpole? While yeah, I had mentally prepared myself all of the previous day, I was still... Scared. A picture would make him- Her- Robin... Real.

"I am...?" I heard my voice say, even though I hadn't meant to say anything at all.

"Yes you are." Spencer cracked a wide grin.

"Well, where..."

"That's the whole point of the van; we gotta drive to Sacramento to fetch the developed photo."

"Drive... Why the hell do we have to drive there, I know a bunch of places that develop in San Fran!" Why was I even surprised? The Flywheels weren't anywhere near practical; you just had to look at all that travelling they did!

"I happen to know a guy in Sacramento who can help us!"

"Aaand Spencer wants to bang him, doesn't she?" I was just teasing her but a subtle blush spread across her face.

"My god, you're worse than my brothers..." She mumbled before turning to... I didn't even know who was driving.

"Simon?"

"No, he has... An appointment to fix his hair along with Max and Linus..." I had never seen her giggle before, it was very... Evil in a way. "No, Eddy; this is Sergeant Jerry Pepper. Sergeant; Eddy McGee, the father."

"Pleased to meet you." We pulled up to a stop light and he took a quick look over his shoulder, nodding to me. That guy couldn't have been more than 25. And I don't know what it was but he had this kind of... Slowness to him. Like he was just going with the flow. "And so you know, I've heard all the Beatles jokes."

Yeah, this van was definitely being driven by a stoner.

"Likewise, man. So, you serve in the Middle East?"

"Afghanistan, four years."

"Harsh."

"That's putting it mildly."

"Anyway!" Spencer cut in for some reas- Of course; the guy had been to war... You know what? I think his weed might've been medicinal. "The sergeant here's the nephew of Mr. Nelson with whom Simon has some sort of friendship with; don't ask."

"Mr. Nelson, the music teacher?" The mellowed out bass player that was our music teacher? He hadn't been to war so I doubt his shit's medicinal.

"The very same."

"I see him more as a brother, really, since there's only like a three year gap between us." Pepper threw a quick glance in the rearview.

"Fer' shure." I was starting to think that Spencer might've sneaked some of Pepper's medicine which really wouldn't have surprised me. A stoner war veteran, a high Flywheel, my best friend's pregnant little sister and my unborn child. Most. Fucked up kidnapping. Ever.

"Lagies and genglefens, ETA Sacramento; 85 minutes."

* * *

_**Day 8: April 24, 09:47 a.m.**_

* * *

"Yo! McGee, we're here!" I felt a soft kick to the leg; I didn't even remember falling asleep. Wasn't surprised though, I barely slept at night during this time. Soon as my head hit the pillow, every thought imaginable flooded my mind. So I'd run the fuck out of my room, throw myself on the couch and brainwash my sorry ass to sleep, which usually happened an hour or two before I, for some reason, left for school.

"We're... What?"

"Sacramento; probably known for something." I propped myself up with my elbows, sure was a nice carpet in that kidnapping van.

"So; what's up in this fucked up world today?" Spence was sitting against the door reading the papers. Like I said; the news is Double-D's kind of thing, I find that the world is just too... Fucking depressing. I mean, open a damn paper and the first ten pages are about the psycho of the day, raping and killing, not always in that order, some eleven year old from the Midwest. Seriously, reading the paper has always been the best way to kill my day.

"Not much; the use. Murder, rape, genocide, unfounded hate, unfounded ignorance. In the San Fran field, a young couple was brutally murdered in their apartment; written on the wall in their blood was 'Gee, NY, act /H'." See? Just the kind of fucked up shit I was talking about. I mean, who the hell would know what the fuck that meant?

"Anything that doesn't make me want to blow my brains out?"

"Well, there's-"She flipped a couple of pages. "Apparently, there's an elephant named Jamie in Britain who's returned to his zoo after getting 'the Fear' a couple of years ago."

"... What'd they do, put him in therapy?"

"They shipped him to India."

"... Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Nope."

"Who the hell would pay for that?"

"I don't know, probably- Hang on." She pulled her vibrating cell phone out of her pocket and pressed the screen. "Simon! How's it going?" A grin reaching from ear to ear suddenly appeared on her face.

"Say hi." I shot in.

"Eddy says- Yeah, Eddy says hi. He says hi back along with 'Good luck'."

"What for?"

"You'll see. So, how're things, brother dearest?" The childlike innocence in her voice challenged the gleeful grin. "Yeah, I hope it burned; welcome to my world! What? Yeah, I... Kidnapped him." She shot me an apologetic glance. "He wasn't pleased if you- Why is Max screaming? Are you kidding me? What a sissy! Yeah, I'll let you go back. Yeah- Yeah, I'll say hi to the sergeant. Oh, right; he said you were to call Floyd tomorrow about coffee."

"Who the fuck is Floyd?"

"Mr. Nelson."I didn't realize I had said it out loud until after she answered. "Wait, what?" A blush spread across her face."I'm going to kill you, Simon David Flywheel. Yeah, yeah, fuck you!" With that, she pressed the screen and slid the phone back into the jeans pocket.

"Y'all are just one happy family, aren't you?"

"I guess we are." She smiled. "I guess we really are... Well, are you ready?" Was I ready? Ready to see a picture of Robin? Ready to accept the fact that once I saw that little thing, I was never gonna give the tadpole up? Ready to leave my regular, carefree life behind and embrace parenthood?

"Fuck no."

"Attaboy!" She pushed herself off the floor and held out a hand which I grabbed. "Now, to preserve the surprise..." She pulled a strip of cloth out of her pocket.

"What the hell are you gonna do; blindfold me?" I laughed quietly but it faded away when she just grinned.

"Funny you would say so, that is _exactly _what I'm planning to do!" The part of me that had been friends with the Flywheels for five years didn't even flinch; I had been subjected to _much_ weirder treatment. So I just shrugged and let my hands fall to my sides. She smiled, what I sure hoped was, reassuringly and stepped around me.

My world went black.

"So, was this Sarah's idea too?" Out of habit, I looked around but, surprise, surprise, didn't see anything.

"Yes... But she wanted a complete gimp costume like the one from Pulp Fiction instead. I think the hormones are getting to her head." I flinched when the sound of the van's side door was opened. "This way, Skippy." She softly grabbed my hand and led me out onto what sounded like a street.

"Where are we?"

"Beautiful Sacramento! But trust me; you're not missing anything." I know it sounds clichéd but being blind as a bat really heightened my other senses. Like, I heard Spencer pressing the button to look the van, I could feel the small breeze on my face, smell the perfumes and colognes of everybody walking past.

"Are you wearing perfume?"

"... No, let's go." She grabbed my left arm and led me forward into the unknown.

"Where did you say we are? Did we pass automatic sliding doors?"

"Good hearing there, Skippy. We're currently walking into a mall." Sure sounded like a mall, people talking everywhere.

"That reminds me; where's Sarah and Pepper?"

"They went to get something to eat while I stayed behind to let you sleep for as long as possible. Poor Jerry, I don't think any training in the world could prepare him for a pregnant Sarah..."

"Preach, sister. So..." A bell and a slight echo from our voices; we were in an elevator.

"You alright, kid?" A voice appeared in the darkness to my right but closer to the ground; an old man.

"Me?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, I'm aight. It's a surprise."

"Oooh. I love those."

"Right now, me too. I'm gonna get to see a picture of my unborn kid for the first time."

"Let me say congratulations then!"

"Thanks, I'm kinda nervous."

"Oh yeah, I remember- Well, it wasn't me but my son was seeing his kid for the first time; fainted as soon as they brought up the kid on the screen." Of course, like there was gonna be a physical copy; everything's digital today.

"How old was he?"

"Oh, about three months I figure."

"No, I meant your son."

"Oh! Well, closer to 30 than 20. 27 I think... Forgive me; memory's not what it used to be."

"That's aight, I was just curious."

"How old are you, son?" I realized that a 17-year old having a kid might be... I can't believe I'm saying this but morally and ethically wrong. Double-D really has rubbed off on me.

"About to turn 20, sir."

"None of that sir crap; it makes me feel older than I am! 20... You have your whole life ahead of you then!"

"Yeah... I do..."

"And are you the mother?" Something creaked. Did he strain his back looking past me or something?

"Oh no, I'm just supporting friend. Mom's gone ahead to set everything up." Spencer responded.

"Ah, I see. Well, here's my stop!" The elevator slowed down before coming to a halt.

"Nice talking to you."

"And you, Mr..."

"McGee, Eddy McGee."

"Neil Cernan; nice to meet you, Mr. McGee. Take good care of your kid when the time comes."

"Wouldn't dream of doing anything else."

"Attaboy." The creaking appeared again but continued, out of the elevator before disappearing into the distance.

"He was in a wheelchair, wasn't he?"

"Yeah."

"Ah. Paralyzed?"

"Seemed to be."

"Hmm." I wondered briefly what he was gonna get here in the mall before realizing, I was gonna ask Spencer something. But... Uhm... Ah, fuck it, next question. "So, who's this guy you know here?"

"... Nobody."

"You're blushing, aren't you?"

"... Yes." I grinned in victory.

"So, who is he?" We slowed down again and this time, Spencer took a step towards the doors.

"He may have been- I mean, he was- We go waaaayy back." We stepped out of the elevator and took a left. I was starting to feel like Al Pacino in that movie with the perverted title.

"How waaaayy?"

"Waaaayy. New York waaaayy."

"Woooorrd." I could almost imagine people staring at us like we were escaped mental patients. That's only speaking for me; Spencer might very well be searched after by men in white coats...

"What did you do; get lost?" Ah, the sound of her angelic voice was nothing but music to my ears. Psych!

"Haha. You comfy?"

"Comfy? What am I, five?"

"Could sure fool me sometimes..." I was almost relieved that Sarah didn't just talk like that to me and definitely impressed that Spencer didn't talk back to her.

"How are we in here then?" A new voice appeared behind me and I turned towards it. "Oh, hello! You must be the father!"

"Don't remind me..." Sarah mumbled, now behind me. I felt someone grab my right hand and I shook it.

"Eddy McGee, yeah, I'm the father."

"Pleased to meet you, Mr. McGee, I'm Dr. Armstrong!" Doctor... Doctor?

"Doctor?"

"Yes?"

"We're not in a fucking mall, are we?"

"Who said you- Spencer Flywheel, who else?" I tore off the blindfold to see a long corridor, stretching out outside the room I was in. So much for a food court later, I was in a hospital.

Hospital, picture- We were doing an ultrasound.

"Surprise, Skippy!" I spun around and saw... Something to hang in the family home. Spencer was being twirled around in the arms of a brown haired young man in a lab coat, Sarah was in bed, glaring at me, a huge fucking mountain were her stomach should've been and Pepper in a chair by the window, blowing soap bubbles. I was starting to wonder what he'd seen down in Afghanistan.

"You could say that twice..." The whole thing was so strange; I didn't even realize that Armstrong was trying to talk to me. "What?"

"I said; I'm sorry for Spencer, she's a fiendish thing to say the least." He looked over his shoulder at an innocent looking Flywheel.

"Yeah, I've dealt with her in the past." I could see why she was going for this guy; even I thought he was cute. Messy brown hair, hazel eyes and a warm smile. Holy shit, who was I crushing on here?

"Can you do all this shit later and just get this thing over with?!" Sarah yelled from the bed. Unusual.

"Yes sir-ee, we proud ourselves of service!" Armstrong turned to Pepper. "Sergeant, I must ask that you leave the room during the procedure."

"Sir, yes sir!" He screwed the top back on his bottle of soap water before smiling and nodding to Sarah, me and the doctor.

"That means you too, Spencer."

"Fine. But we're not done here."

"Are we ever?" I had never seen a flirtier couple in my entire life, this guy must've been really quite specia- Oh my god.

"Say, Spence." She was walking towards the door while the doc was prepping Sarah for... The thing.

"Yeah, Skippy?"

"The good doc over there... He was you first, wasn't he?" That hit home plate, she was blushing furiously before I had even finished the sentence.

"... Shut up."

"Oh my god, he was!"

"Shut up!"

"Did you play his trumpet and show him a wonderful world?"

"Oh, I swear McGee!"

"Did he tour your France a good five times?"

"You don't wanna end up on the list, Skippy!"

"Was he the first to meet your moon man?"

"I will slay you in your sleep." With that, she slammed the door in my face. I grinned to myself before turning to see the doc standing there.

"Don't worry, that was actually quite clever." He said when I opened my mouth to apologize. "It's not often I can out-tease Spence all by myself so I'm always thankful for the help I can get." He flashed a smile and I swear, my heart melted a little bit.

"So, when did you meet Spence?" We positioned ourselves around the bed; him prepping the machine, me standing not too close to Sarah on the other side. I'd rather make small talk with McDreamy all day than to even acknowledge Sarah. I was about to see my kid for the first time and the most likely thing to ruin it was Sarah opening her mouth. That ain't mean, _that's fact!_

"Couple of years back in New York; I was originally a friend of Linus'. You?"

"She and the Flywheels moved in three or four years ago in a-"

"Learn to count, dumbass; five years."... I completely forgot. Sorry, the Flywheel family moved to Peach Creek five years ago and moved away four years ago. You can't expect me to remember every detail like that, especially after believing it to be so for a whole year!

What the fuck did I just say?

* * *

"You're sleep deprived, one tends to ramble."

"Something else I didn't know?"

"Lance Armstrong won Tour de France seven times."

* * *

"Oh yeah... Shit, that's a long time..."

"Indubitably." He gently lifted the sheet off of Sarah and exposed that enormous hill in which Robin was nesting. I felt a familiar tingle in the pit of my gut but pushed it down; this was not the fucking time or place to think about that. "Now, the gel might be a little cold; just so you know."

"Hey, doc." If this guy had been friends with Linus and Spencer since back in the day... He did look pretty young... "If you don't mind me askin', how old are you?" That lovable bastard just smiled.

"If you two would have been regular patients, I would have said 24. But since you're friends of the house of Flywheel; I'm your age Eddy, 18."... How the hell did this go together?

"Sorry for askin' but are you sure you know what you're doing...?"

"Trust me; you're not the first kin to worry about my capability due to my age. I just... Skipped a couple of grades, I guess." _A couple?!_ Here I was, freaking out that my childhood was over and being thrown into adulthood and this guy's already working as a fully fledged doctor!

"... Neat."

"Alright, this is it!" He moved the sonic probey thing over Sarah's mountain in circles before settling in one area. "Now, before we enjoy the show, I have to ask; do you want to know the sex?"

"No." I glanced down at Sarah who looked... Scared?

"You don't know already?" I really thought I was the only one who didn't know. I didn't ask anyone because... The sex really didn't matter as long as he/she came out healthy and happy.

"Why should I know if you didn't?" Did she- Did she just say that she had been fair to me? Was I hearing this correctly?

"Okay, thanks... But, you know, wouldn't mind waiting to see what the sex is. It's not that big of a deal."

"Sure."

"So, you don't wanna know?" The doc looked at both of us and both of us shook our heads. "Good then. Now, gather 'round; this is one Science Fiction Double Feature you're not gonna wanna miss!" I held my breath, this was it. He pressed a button on the screen and a black and white image appeared; looked like one of those ink tests you see at the psychiatrist's office. Or so it did at first. "Okay, so you see this outline here? That... Is the head of your child."

Oh my god.

...

Oh my fucking god.

That was...

Robin.

My Robin.

My little tadpole in there.

"And... Here come the drums." He pressed a few buttons and... The sound of waves filled the room. Wave after wave. A single heartbeat. Robin's heartbeat. My son. My daughter.

Holy shit.

A human being... That I helped create.

Tears were falling so naturally, it was like breathing. Tears of joy.

Something touched my left hand and I instinctively grabbed a hold of it. Sarah's hand.

The three of us. A family in every sense of the word. No matter how fucked up we were, no matter how much we might've hated each other in the past, no matter anything or anyone... We were a family.

"I'm gonna let you have a couple of minutes. Any questions?"

"Yeah... Can I order one eight by ten glossy with many wallet size photos for family and friends?"

* * *

_**Day 8: April 24, 3:04 p.m.**_

* * *

We had lunch at some nearby place before Pepper, Sarah and I hopped back into the van to get back to Peach Creek; Spencer said she was gonna stay the night in Sacramento with the doc. Like that wasn't code for anything.

The ride back was... Quiet. Not awkwardly quiet, I don't think any of us cared about that. I was staring at a picture of Robin the whole way, Sarah was staring out the window and Pepper was mumble-singing random songs that I guess were in his head.

"Halfway down the stairs is a stair were I sit..." The exit sign to Peach Creek became visible through the windshield, I knew we was gonna hit Rathink soon.

"Yo Sarge! You can drop me off here; feel like stretching the old legs after the long car ride."

"Okey dokey artichokey." He pulled over to the side and turned around in his seat. "Pleasure to meet you, Mr. McGee."

"Likewise, Sergeant." I shook his hand before quickly leaning in and kissing Sarah's cheek. Not waiting for a reaction, I hopped out and slammed the door shut behind me. I followed the van as it drove away until it disappeared behind a curve.

Holy fuck, I was a father. There wasn't any 'going to be', that ship sailed the moment I saw Robin with my own eyes. This shit was realer than ever. This shit was crayer than ever. This shit was more fantastic than ever.

"Afternoon Ed-boy!" I turned to see Rolf walking towards me. "How are you this fine day?"

"Yeah, I'm cool..." I hadn't even noticed that it was a fucking great day for April; sun shining, light breeze. "You?"

"Oh, Rolf cannot complain. Are you on your way to the Cul-de-Sac?" Was I? No idea, probably, eventually. If I headed home, I'd only do the use; watch TV, stare at the ceiling, eat, stare at the wall and of course, my favorite, think myself to madness. But, if I wandered around Peach Creek, I'd think myself into insanity. Rock, me, hard place.

"Yeah, sure."

"Good!" We... Started walking, that was about it. We walked, quietly at first but then I realized that... I fucking grew up with Rolf. He was a decent, standup guy, even though I always managed to piss him off twice a week. And yeah, there were cultural differences and shit; he spoke backwards, had a god damn farm and customs that could be likened to religious rituals. But... We weren't that different. Two young men who just took life as it came, enjoyed it while we could. So apart from Ed and Double-D... Rolf was probably the one guy in the Cul-de-Sac I would trust my life to.

If I couldn't talk to Rolf then who the fuck could I talk to?

"Sarah's pregnant with my kid." It slipped out before I could react.

"Congratulations, Ed-boy!" And before I could react again, he had hoisted me up on his shoulders so I was sitting like some kid at a concert. It felt... Good; out of all the people I could call my friends or buddies, less than a quarter knew about it."How far along is the loud-mouthed one?"

"Uhm... 29 weeks. So I guess she's gonna pop sometime in July."

"Rolf is delighted to hear the news! The mother must be offered the ceremonial ribbon of the child bearers!"

"Don't I get a ribbon?"

"The father receives the traditional sausage of-"

"Keep it, keep it." Hearing Rolf talk about wieners and sausages never stopped being a bit gay. "Anyway, that's not the best idea; nobody's supposed to know she's here."

"Why not?"

"Her parents are gonna kill her if they find out. So she'll be living with the Flywheels until D-day."

"Hmm, family values clash quite often. Rolf remembers back in the Old Country where-"

"Okay, that's it!" I climbed down from the guy's shoulders and fell into a walk next to him; mostly because people were giving us odd looks but also... The back of his head kept rubbing against my crotch. "Ever since you moved here have you talked and talked and talked about your Old Country! Just tell us already; where the hell is it?!" Next to Double-D's hat, that was the biggest mystery I had ever encountered; where the fuck Rolf was from.

"Ah, you wish to hear the origin of the Old Country, yes?"

"No, that's not-"

"Many years ago when the soil was unfruitful, the sheep went bald and the goats stopped giving milk, a group of Italian monks set out to find the Old Country after hearing its stories of the big mountains, the vast lakes and the great valleys!"

"So, you're Itali-"

"On the journey, they met up with some Yugoslavians who had also heard the fables of the Old Country!"

"So you're Yugosl- Whatever you sai-"

"On their long and hard way, they were joined by a Polack, an Indian and an Arab!"

"This is starting to sound like a bad racist jok-"

"After many moon cycles, they found the tribe of the famous Norwegian goat milkers, born and raised in the country of old!"

"Aha! So _it is_ in Norwa-"

"The milkers had left their home even many a years before the monks started their expedition! Considered lost, they were; their memories gone in the sea of time! And so, the Old Country was never found but in its memory, the whole group founded the Old Country where they had found the goat milkers!" He was grinning proudly; I on the other hand had no fucking idea what he was talking about anymore.

"So... When they couldn't find the Old Country, they just made a new one?"

"That's right, Ed-boy."

"So... Shouldn't it be the 'New Old Country'?"

"They tried it out but tourism took a dive."

"Too bad." If even half of the things Rolf told us over the years was true... He had the most kickass family ever, weird ass motherfuckers or not.

"So, how does Ed-boy feel about fatherhood?" I honestly hadn't expected that he was gonna ask about my feelings; sure we grew up together but we weren't that close!

"Uhm... I feel... Nervous, I guess. Like, what if my kid doesn't like me? What if I fuck up really bad? What if we can't make it work and we have to hand the kid away?"

"Worst case scenarios, Ed-boy! Rolf remember the first time he was going to be a father, so distracted the chickens had to stack the eggs themselves!" See, this is why I liked Rolf. He was supportive and- The first time he was gonna be a father?!

"You're a dad?!"

"Yes indeed, Ed-boy." He went into his pocket and pulled out a wallet made of some unknown animal. He pulled out a picture before smiling and handing it to me. "Sven, Iva and Hugo. That's Gerta in the middle."

"They're... Adorable." They were. In their own way. Too much mother in them. "Here." I pulled out the only picture I had of my child. "That there is the head. I think." I had stared at the pic for so long; it had started to lose its sense. Or maybe it was just me?

* * *

"Take a nap, man, I'll watch little Max."

"Nah, I'm cool."

"Dude, you're rambling incoherently and your eyelids can barely stay open anymore."

"Let me just finish the talk with Rolf, then I'll take a nap."

"... Aight."

* * *

"Oh, Ed-boy! Eddy and Rolf, proud fathers!" He flung an arm around my shoulders and squeezed me close. That's when I realized that I was one step closer to being a true dad; telling other parents about my kids. Holy shit, my life had become... You know, something weird.

"Yeah, I can barely get it myself... It feels like just yesterday we were running around, playing in the Cul-de-Sac, scamming you guys out of money."

"Hoho, one had to keep the coin purse close when the conniving Ed-boys were around!" He started to laugh and I couldn't help but join in. To imagine, that Rolf and I would be bonding... Over kids.

"Remember when Ed lived in your shed?"

"Rolf still has nightmares about the horrible sounds the two-eyes-one-brow-Ed-boy gave off!" We were coming up the main street; livelier now than usual what with school being over. "Or when Rolf allowed you to take part of the Passing of the Goat!"

"Yeah! Or when we borrowed Victor from you to cut the Cul-de-Sac's lawns!"

"Good times, Ed-boy! Good times!" It was when we passed Jones' Café I saw it. I threw a quick look inside and caught sight of Double-D locking lips with Marie Kanker.

Yeah, yeah, I know that it would be hypocritical of me to get upset about it but... That's not what I felt. I felt sorrow. Could it be we were... Drifting apart? Away from each other as we marched into adulthood? Yuch, I even sound like him now! But... All those years of friendship; this couldn't be it. It couldn't be over just because chicks entered the picture. Could it...?

"I said, Ed-boy!"

"Huh?" I snapped out of my thoughts, we had stopped outside the good ol' candy store.

"I said; let Rolf treat you to a jawbreaker for old time's adventures!"

"Lead the way, Dad-dad-daddio!" I was sleep deprived. I was confused. I had a crush. I was a father. And I wasn't even 18 yet.

Aight, take Max for a minute; I'm gonna take a fucking nap. Wake me in 30.


End file.
